On Tuesday, June 2, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Hilltown Café in Rensselaerville; we’re wondering who the wise guy is that took summer! The OFs know we went from winter into August with cracked clay and all, but on Monday, June 1, and Tuesday, June 2, the OFs had to retreat to the plastic bins (where the winter clothes have been stored away for the summer) to get something to wear.
The OFs are just commenting not complaining.
The OFs have mentioned many times about what happened to them while in the service. When these experiences are enumerated back and forth, it indicates how many OFs are veterans of different branches of the service and many different campaigns.
One OF veteran mentioned that he was selling poppies in Cobleskill (by the Stewart’s store across the street from the college) when a mother with two little girls about 6 years old said the girls wanted to know if they could hug a veteran. This blew the OF away and the OF said sure, if the mother would, too.
You can’t beat an OF, especially the ones who are veterans, in taking advantage of every opportunity. The OFs learned that in the military.
Domesticated cats and wild birds
The OFs talked about how we really do not domesticate animals; it is the animals that take a shine to us, and we cater to them. Who is the domesticated one, the cat or the person?
The cat gives nothing except an occasional purr and catches the occasional mouse. For that, the cat gets a roof over its head, groomed, fed, vet services, and pampered no end. The cat’s claw marks are even tolerated.
That discussion brought up the topic of wild birds that just fly in and take up residence with whomever. How does the bird know he is not going to wind up on the dining-room table surrounded by carrots, and potatoes?
But on occasion they do drop in, from crows, to wild geese, to ducks, and even wild turkeys. The OFs were talking of ducks and a duck that followed one particular OG around and pecked at his shoes for food; another OF said a clutch of turkeys kept coming to his back yard and he would have to chase them away by going right into them and jostling them to the woods with a little switch.
One OF had a Canada goose just drop in and hang around and come right up to the family members and rub against their legs for attention, and it even made attempts to follow them into the house.
It must be these birds and even some so-called “wild” animals have a sense we OFs don’t know about. They have learned early on how to pick on certain people who are not going to hurt them and they seem to be able to follow this instinct.
Mystified by Jenner’s transformation
The OFs touched a little bit on real current events, one of which was the Bruce Jenner transformation. The OFs are OFs and do not quite understand this.
The OFs remember him/her when he was a he and a great athlete in the Olympics. The OFs just can’t get a handle on this.
The younger generation might understand this better just because of the numbers of people around now. The percentage may be the same as it was in “our” day but the numbers will be greater in 2015 than 1940 or so. Then there is the advent of so much information now being in real time makes what was once hidden now out in the open with little chance to manipulate it.
OFs march on
When many of the OFs were YFs, marching in parades was something many of them did. Some OFs marched because they had to — there was some burly sergeant making sure they did.
But many of the OFs were in their school bands, or they were Cub Scouts or Boy Scouts, or some were even in the Grange. Now many of the OFs have to think about putting one foot ahead of the other without the added thinking of which one it was supposed to be, right foot or left foot.
Some of the OFs would still go by hay foot, straw foot marchers. (A note from American Heritage magazine: In the mid-19th Century, the drill sergeants repeatedly found that among the raw recruits, there were men so abysmally untaught that they did not know left from right, and hence could not step off on the left foot as all soldiers should. To teach these lads how to march, the sergeants would tie a wisp of hay to the left foot and a wisp of straw to the right; then, setting the men to march, they would chant, “Hay-foot, straw-foot, hay-foot, straw-foot” — and so on, until everybody had caught on. A common name for a green recruit in those days was “strawfoot.”)
However, there are still a few OFs who do get dressed up and march in parades and for these few this marching happens quite often. Marching is better than going to a gym to keep the OFs in shape. At least in marching there is a change of scenery, plus bringing a certain kind of joy to people the OFs don’t even know, especially the kids.
Gardening on high
The OFs who garden are slimming down. This scribe thinks he knows why; this is called “old backs.”
That may be why those who still get out and plant gardens are doing their gardens in raised beds. One OF said that he has gone to raised beds but not for the entire garden. Then another OF said that all his garden is now in raised beds.
One OF said that he made a series of stepped beds for his wife’s herb garden but the rest of it is still, till the ground, plant the seed, weed the garden when the plants begin to sprout, and then, at harvest time, the garden can feed the deer, rabbits, and mice and what is left over they can put on the table around one of the turkeys that wandered in.
One of the gardeners also made a brief comment on the watering of gardens, saying that rain is better than watering a garden with a hose. The OFs who garden said there are different kinds of “wet water.” Rainwater is better water, and is wetter than water from the sprinklers or the hose. Hmmmm.
Those OFs who made it to the top of hill and the Hilltown Café in Rensselaerville and are all talk (because at their ages the testosterone level has dwindled to almost a negative number) were: Miner Stevens, Roger Chapman, Harold Guest, John Rossmann, Frank Pauli, George Washburn, Robie Osterman, Karl Remmers, Dick Ogsbury, Bob Snyder, Al Latham, Bob Benac, Art Frament, Jay Taylor, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Gerry Irwin, Mace Porter, Chuck Aleseio, Otis Lawyer, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Bill Krause, Jim Rissacher, Ted Willsey, Henry Whipple, Bill Rice, Mike Willsey, Warren Willsey, Gerry Chartier, and me.
Location:
This scribe wonders what life was like when there were no days of the week, months of the year, or even time. We would not know if it was Tuesday or not.
Well, on Tuesday, May 26, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Home Front Café, where the breakfast hors d’oeuvres were served up by Jack. Now that is an interesting touch but, if there were no indications of days, weeks, months or years, how would we even record that such a miraculous event ever occurred?
The early arrivers talked about the unusual rainbow that was in the southwest sky at about 6 a.m. Tuesday morning. There had to be a shower someplace but where most of the OFs were it was not raining. So many of the OFs observed this rainbow that it let the OFs who had seen it alone early in the morning know they were not crazy and seeing things.
Another OF mentioned seeing on Channel 6 News a story about a girl wrestler from Gallupville who was wrestling in Madison Square Garden. This OF asked the OFs who lived anywhere near the Gallupville area if any of them knew of a girl wrestler (who had a reputation of being a rather good wrestler) living in the Gallupville area.
None of the OFs knew of such a person. Well, there is such a person and she is from Gallupville; her match was with a wrestler from Cuba, and she won. So that is another not crazy OF. Yet.
Lawnmower cowboys
Then the OFs spent quite a bit of time talking about riding lawnmowers. From this discussion, it was a good thing the OFs are country folk and keeping up with Joneses is not a priority, because most of the lawnmowers used by the OFs are so old and beat up they would be right at home in Bedrock. (Think Flintstones, Yabba dabba do).
One OF said he went to call on a fellow many of the OFs know who repairs small engines and fixes lawn mowers — riding or not. This OF purchased two basically identical riding lawnmowers for a hundred bucks each from him.
He uses the best mower to mow the lawn and the other mower for parts as the mower the OF selected as best starts to fall apart. Keeping these old things running becomes a challenge, and it’s fun to see how long they can keep these old mowers going.
The OF who has to go shopping for another mower because his mower is 17 years old, with so many cobbled up parts nobody could drive it except the OF, not unless they had a complete checkout on the mower’s idiosyncrasies.
No matter how the mower looks, if the blades go around, it will cut the grass just as well as any new, fancy, green and yellow tractor.
One OF reported that he had one of these green and yellow machines and was out mowing the lawn when his wife called. With the ear protectors on and the tractor running with the mowing deck spinning, it is tough to hear anything. The OF turned to holler, “What?” and ran full tilt into a tree.
That did a number on the plastic engine shroud of the tractor and a few other things like lights, and being able to close the hood — just little things. The OF said now the engine is really air cooled because the shroud is somewhere other than on the tractor. The OF did not say whether it was behind the shed or in the dump.
Somehow this drifted into a conversation about how much the riding mowers with the front engine have gone up in price, but the newer zero-turn machines have gone down in price. Then one OF questioned why is he able to get a riding lawn mower with all the attachments for less money than a mattress.
One OF said, “Now we know who is making all the money — the amount of profit in a mattress has to be ridiculous; just look at what goes into making a tractor and the amount of people required to do it. Now look at a mattress, one great big wooden pallet, with a bunch of springs attached to it and fabric, then on top of that is a fabric box stuffed with cotton and maybe some coil of wire or whatever inside that and it is done.”
“Big whoop,” the OF said, “If I had a heavy-duty sewing machine, I could make a mattress in my shop in two or three hours.”
Made in the USA
This led to a brief discussion on merchandise made in the United States of America, and products made elsewhere. These types of conversations can get to be a little political so the points made are short, and don’t go too deep. In this case though, consider that many of the common items most of us use, the average person could not afford if they were made in the USA. This is a sad but true commentary.
This led to another brief discussion, which is common knowledge (at least to the OFs). They feel that New York State is killing off small industries, and the OFs are beginning to think it is intentional. Both of these are debatable.
Those OFs who made it to the Home Front Café in Altamont and most being wide awake after a good night’s sleep on a mattress of their choice, but not the few who were kicked out of the house and had to sleep in the barn, were: Miner Stevens, George Washburn, Robie Osterman, John Rossmann, Frank Pauli, Henry Witt, Dave Williams, Harold Guest, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, Chuck Aleseio, Otis Lawyer, Jack Norray, Gerry Erwin, Lou Schenck, Mace Porter, Bill Krause, Jim Rissacher, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Andy Tinning, Gil Zabel, Harold Grippen, Allen Befazio, Elwood Vanderbilt, Henry Whipple, (Mike Willsey, Warren Willsey, Daniele Willsey, Ted Willsey, Emily Meduna, and Gerry Chartier, a small part of the Willsey clan; one of the distaff side was a chauffer for one of the Willseys who had recent shoulder surgery; the OFs are tough old goats), and me.
Location:
Well, the Old Men of the Mountain made it through another week and were able to make it to the Chuck Wagon Diner in Princetown on Tuesday, May 19. The OMOTM reported coming through fog on their way off the Hill.
This scribe does not know how many, if any, of the OFs stopped to vote on a school’s budget on their way to the Chuck Wagon. Generally, unless there is some radical proposal, the school budget and school board members’ election is light, so the OFs would not be bothered by lines no matter what time the OFs stopped anyway.
Some of the OFs were talking about farming equipment that was used when they were young, and what the equipment is like today. The operations are basically the same, mow the hay (i.e., cut the hay), bale the hay, chop the hay, mow the hay away in the barn, (i.e., place the hay in a mow). Mow, and mow, two completely different operations on the farm, yet spelled the same. That’s the English language for you.
Farmers plant the corn, plant the grains, and milk the cows — how that work is done stays pretty much the same, but the way it is done now is where the “wow” shows up.
The OFs started talking about the same story that happened to three of them. In olden days (“In olden days a glimpse of stocking was looked on as something shocking, but now, heaven knows, anything goes” — thanks to Cole Porter). Anyway, in olden days, with a Case baler it took three people to bale the hay.
One person was on the tractor, and two people were on the baler. On the baler, one person poked the wires through the bale, and the one on the other side twisted them together.
Two OFs reported the same type of story. One OF had a neighbor farmer who had a daughter who would come and help with the fieldwork at times, and the farmer’s sons would also go along and help them. One day, the farmer’s daughter was on the baler twisting the wires, the son’s father was driving the tractor, and one son was pushing the wires through the bales. Just a routine summer’s workday on the farm in olden days, only on this particular day the farmer’s daughter suddenly took off running and screaming across the field.
The OF said his dad stopped the tractor and ran after the girl to see what had happened. The OF said he ran around to the other side to see what had happened there, fully expecting to see a hand cut off or something like that. What he saw was about six inches of a large live snake sticking out from the bale, frantically, flaying back and forth with its forked tongue darting in an out and the rest of the snake in the bale. This reptile was in a ton of hurt and not a happy camper.
The OF said, if he had been on the side of the baler, twisting the wires, and he saw that snake coming at him with each lunge of the plunger, he would have been gone too.
The other OF said they had the same exact experience of baling up a snake with parts of that reptile protruding from the bale, again flaying back and forth. This OF did not mention if it was a wire baler, or a string baler but that part is irrelevant — it was the exact same occurrence.
What other critters have had the unfortunate experience to become baled up inside hay bales, or for that matter caught up in the corn chopper and blown into a silo, we don’t know for sure.
However, one OF mentioned, “Well, it is a good source of protein for the cows.”
The OFs looked at this one OG and wondered what kind of farm he had where cows ate meat. The protein for cows comes from grain.
Another OF said that, while they were baling (this again was a normal afternoon of putting in hay) his dad was on the tractor and all of a sudden he noticed a doe charging in front of the baler. The OF said his dad stopped immediately and shut the baler down.
When his father went to see what was going on, he found that there was a little newborn fawn on the apron of the baler just ready to go into the plunger. The OF said his father picked up the fawn and went to put it in the grass and there in the grass was another fawn.
The OF said they stopped baling in that area, and the next day when they went to the field to finish up, there was the deer with the two fawns; it appeared like she was saying thank-you to his father for saving her baby. Farming is hard, dangerous, work but at times can be very interesting.
More buzz on bees and blossoms
The OFs were on a brief nature kick, and, although the OFs have mentioned a couple of these items before, at this breakfast, they were discussing them again as if they were new.
The apple trees, along with other flowering trees and shrubs are loaded with blossoms, and the OFs noticed the lilacs have more flowers than leaves, but there are no bees. One OF said a bee here and there is nothing like it used to be when the apple trees at his place would have so many bees in it that the tree sounded like a factory humming.
Some of the OFs have noticed the absence of woodchucks. One OF who does brushhogging says he hasn’t run into a woodchuck hole in about the same period of time.
“There are a few woodchucks around,” another OF said. “But not many.”
On the other hand, the OFs noticed how many wild strawberry blossoms are around. This is a year for wild strawberries like in the past. The OFs reminisced about how, when they were younger, being sent out by their parents to go and pick them. The OFs said the berries have disappeared for some time but now they seem to be back; however, now the OFs don’t have parents around to send them out to break their backs picking them.
Those OFs who made it to the Chuck Wagon Diner in Princetown, and who are not about to go out and pick wild strawberries, were: Henry Witt, Miner Stevens, Roger Chapman, Robie Osterman, Roger Shafer, John Rossmann, Andy Tinning, Harold Guest, Chuck Aleseio, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, Art Frament, Bob Benac, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Gerry Irwin, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Bill Krause, Duncan Bellinger, Henry Whipple, Mike Willsey, Gerry Chartier, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, Gil Zabel, and me.
Location:
In the merry, merry month of May, the Old Men of the Mountain met on Tuesday, May 12, at the Duanesburg Diner in Duanesburg.
The Duanesburg Diner has a neat way of keeping track of who has regular, or who has decaf, coffee. This restaurant does it with black and white mugs, black for regular, and white for decaf.
This way, the waitress, or waitresses, do not have to keep asking who has the decaf, and, with 20 to 25 guys, that is a lot of coffee to keep track of. Then there is always the orange juice or water guys thrown in to mess things up.
It was a great summer-type morning on Tuesday, and the OF weathermen did not complain about our, so far, two-season weather pattern for 2014-2015 of just a nasty winter, right into 80- to 90-degree summer-type days. The OFs commented but did not complain — yet.
The OFs mentioned all the weather that is going on in the central part of the country. One OF said, “No matter what, weather is going on all over the world. It has to.” What the OF was referring to is the bad weather and tornadoes.
Another OF said, “These things have been going on for years, only now we have instant information in real time brought right into our living rooms, and that seems to make it different. Also, there are more people now than 70 years ago to get in the way of these weather systems. The world stays the same; it is the numbers that change and they change the world just so this old planet has a hard job keeping up.”
All that dialogue sent this scribe to check a few things out and, as usual, the OFs are right. When the OFs were YFs (1940), there were 132 million people in the United States. Today there are 320 million.
The average water usage per person is 80 to 100 gallons a day: 320 X 80/100 is considerably larger than 132 X 80/100. Now we are talking big numbers.
Then there is the irrigation to grow food for 320 million when, in 1940, that was not even necessary. The OF was right — it is the numbers.
China will scare the pants off you when looking at its numbers. The paper wouldn’t be long enough to support all the zeros behind the initial number.
Time jumping
The OFs did their usual time jumping from 20 to 30 years ago, and on occasion dipped into more recent history and coupled that with current times in quite often the same sentence. The subject of this conversation was businesses and farms that are gone from our area and have not been replaced.
The areas included were basically the Johnstown-Gloversville area, and the cities of Amsterdam and Schenectady. The OFs were talking and reminiscing about the places that are no longer here — places and businesses like Coleco, Mohawk Carpets, all the glove factories, and tanneries, and the small knitting mills. Most of them have vanished into our memories.
One OF said that these businesses are gone but a few others have replaced them; however, even some of the replacements of those businesses are gone now, too.
“Times change,” one OF said, “but many times the changing of time is not good.”
Then one OF opined, “Life is cyclical; small towns are all painted up and look good, then for some reason many seem to fall into a slump.” Then the OF continued, “As long as it keeps a viable core and property becomes cheap it has a resurgence. The problem with us is we are too darn old to see the plus side return to some of the small towns we are talking about.”
Tattoo craze
The OFs mentioned the tattoo craze that is going on right now, and we mentioned how those things fade as people age, and the only color left in the tat is black. Some of the OFs who were in the military, especially the Navy, got tattoos way back when, and some woke up in the morning and there was “Mom” tattooed on their shoulder and they didn’t know how it got there.
Today it is hardly legible and is just a black blob. One OF mentioned it was the stuff they drank from those dark blue tin cups. Not only did the stuff send smoke out of the OF’s ears, it also melted the bottom out of the tin cup.
“Whatever it was,” the OF said, “You could cut off my arm and I would have said thank you.”
Duct tape
From this small talk, we again turned to duct tape. The OFs are beginning to think that the whole world is held together with duct tape, or is it now duct tape because the word “duct” has become so common place for industrial tape that it is now a generic term like aspirin.
Every car, wagon, and tractor should come with its own small roll of 2-inch-wide duct tape — just in case. It is used to hold race cars together at 200 miles per hour, temporarily patch leaks in just about anything, wrap heating ducts, and repair vacuum-cleaner hoses.
Why, some people have even been known to repair a favorite pair of slippers with it. If it breaks, tape it with duct tape.
“There are a few things duct tape doesn’t work on,” one OF said, “and one of those is carpenter bees.”
This OF reported that he has tried taping their holes at night and in the morning there is a bee that has chewed his way through the tape and died, but he had cleared the way for the others.
The other problem? Duct tape does not take to heat very well. One OF said, “Don’t try taping a muffler with it.”
Those OFs who made it to the Duanesburg Diner in Duanesburg and missing Red Green (a long-ago TV personality who used to duct tape anything and everything), were: Dave Williams, Robie Osterman, Roger Chapman, Miner Stevens, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Roger Shafer, John Rossmann, Frank Pauli, Harold Guest, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Mace Porter, Gerry Irwin, Art Frament, Bob Benac, Ted Willsey (sling and all), Jim Rissacher, Bill Krause, Mike Willsey, Gerry Chartier, Duncan Bellinger, and me.
On May 5, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the “Your Way Café” in Schoharie. Years ago, there was a “My Way Café” on Route 9 around Clifton Park. This particular café was all done up with Frank Sinatra paraphernalia; however, the one in Schoharie has no such motif.
It is a clever name implying how you might want your food prepared, but, on the other hand, this may lead to some discussion between patron and cook. There was none of that discussed with the OFs; everything came in large portions, and just as ordered.
The OFs for the most part are grandparents, and a few are great-grandparents, so, when the OFs start talking about their own grandparents, the conversation is going back a ways. That is what some of the OFs were doing Tuesday morning.
They were remembering what they did with their grandparents, and what type of people they were and what they talked about. For instance, say the OF is 80, and the grandparent of the OF was 80, and the OF is remembering when he was 7 to 10 years old, and the grandparent was remembered when they were 25 to 30 years old. Now the OFs are talking of events around 128 to 130 years ago. That is getting back there.
Even though this has been mentioned many times before, we spoke again of how the parents of the OFs went from horse and buggy to men on the moon. Some OFs’ parents went from the Great Depression, to the Regan era.
Most all of the OFs’ parents went from farming with horses to tractors that drive themselves. One OF mentioned that we could see the progression of time then, and even when the OF was in the work force. This OF continued ruminating that now the progression of time is so fast that what is new today is obsolete tomorrow.
One OF said, “I love it. I would like to be 6 or 7 years old now and just see what the world will be like in another 60 to 70 years.”
Another OF chimed in, “Yeah, if this old planet is still here and we haven’t blown it up by then.”
New cars for old hands
How the OFs segued into new cars from this previous conversation is almost understandable, because one OF just purchased a new vehicle for his wife (yeah, right). This might have been the reason for the discussion that followed.
It was brought up that some of the new cars do not supply even a “doughnut” for a spare tire. The vehicle comes with a can of “Fix-a-Flat.”
“That stuff does work,” one OF said. “But it’s a mess, and what if you sliced your tire on a piece of angle iron, how is ‘Fix-a-Flat’ going to fix that flat?”
The OFs remember when cars came with two spare tires, one in each front fender. A couple of the OFs noted cars came with a parts book, and even tools for the parts that required specialty tools.
Along with that, the cars had lines; each make and model was different, and it was possible to tell which model was which. One OF said, when a bank robber was making his getaway years ago, the witnesses could say the car was a 1935, black, four-door Buick custom sedan, and the police would know what they were looking for.
Today, all they can say is, “It was a gray car, Officer, or maybe it was a pickup truck.”
The witness might be able to identify a red SUV. That’s about it. If it was a Honda, or Toyota, Mazda, Ford, Chevy, hey, they all look alike!
When the OFs were YFs, they used to play a game on trips called “name that car.” When a car was spotted coming at them, they would start calling out the name and make of the car when it was just a dot on the horizon.
“Plymouth Coupe,” someone would shout, and everyone else would say, “Oh nuts,” because the friend or sibling spotted it first. It would be rare that somebody else would call a different car.
Plastic tractors
After reminiscing about cars, the OFs talked about tractors, especially lawn tractors, and mentioned the new ads they have seen from Cub Cadet. There was a time when International made the Cub Cadet and it was made like a tractor, now it is made by MTD, and just as tinny.
Only it’s really not “tinny” and an OF implied the tractors are all plastic and that stuff doesn’t last five or six years before it starts to crack, and things loosen up.
Another OF said, “You can’t hammer dents out of plastic, and you can’t weld a stiffer piece onto where you have a problem.”
“Not made to last, like lots of other equipment,” one OF opined. “We are a throw-away society, planned obsolescence, tough and long lasting is a joke.”
Another OF asked, “Have you ever tried to get a part for something older than five years?” This OF said, “If an OF buys something they really like, they should buy two of these products. That way, you can start up the second one when the first one goes bad, and then the first one can become a parts machine.”
“Not a bad idea,” one OF replied.
The frog that got away
Now for a completely unrelated story (and it’s too bad the OF did not have a camera for this one). The OF said that he was out getting the garden ready and he saw a snake trying to eat a frog.
The snake had half the frog in his mouth and the half of the frog that wasn’t in the snake’s mouth was holding on a stick trying not to go down the snake’s throat. The OF relating this tale said that he did not know how a snake could eat something that large.
He also said he got a stick and struck the snake so the frog got away. The OF did not elaborate on how long this took, or how it happened, but that is what he said anyway.
Those OFs who made their way to the “Your Way Café” in Schoharie and inaugurated their first breakfast in a familiar building with the new name were: Roger Chapman, Roger Shafer, Dave Williams, Dick Ogsbury, Otis Lawyer, Chuck Aleseio, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, Frank Pauli, John Rossmann, Karl Remmers, George Washburn, Robie Osterman, Miner Stevens, Harold Guest, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Art Frament, Bob Benac, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Mace Porter, Don Wood, Warren Willsey, Mike Willsey, Bill Krause, and me.
Location:
Sometimes Tuesday rolls around so fast, and at other times it seems like it will never get here. Tuesday, April 28, seemed like it was the day after the 21st; it was here in a flash. On the 28th, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Country Café in Schoharie.
One of the OFs mentioned he needed new semi-dress pants so the OF bought what was his size, or at least he thought it was his size; when he tried them on at home, the button came nowhere near the button hole. The OF was not ashamed to mention the size he purchased, which was “Dockers 40” x 30”. So the OF looked at the size of the jeans he had on and they were 38” x 29”, and fit perfectly.
In order to get a pair of Dockers to fit, the OF said he would have to go to 42 or maybe even 44. The OF continued complaining that, if he purchased jeans that size, there would be room for another person.
Then an OF mentioned there is the same problem with shoes. He tried on a pair of 10W and they were so tight, they curled his toes — he looked at the shoes he had on and they were 10W.
What is it with shoes and clothes? Don’t they know how to read a ruler?
“If I am building a shed,” one OF said, “and I need a 2x4 cut 50 and 1/8 inches, by golly, it had better be 50 and 1/8 inches.”
How can there be such discrepancies in wearing apparel? 38” is 38” — no ifs, ands, or buts.
The OF with the shoes said he tried 10W by the same manufacturer, only a different style, and that one slipped up and down on his heel, and looked as big as a small swimming pool yet it was marked 10W, on the box, and in the shoe.
The question the OMOTM are asking is: How in the world do manufacturers size clothes? If they screw up sizing simple men’s clothing (which is basically just shirts and pants), what in world do they do with women’s clothes and shoes?
This must be some sort game with these people to see how many trips people will have to make back and forth to the store, or how long they can keep them shopping in the store so they will purchase other items. The question still remains: How can there be such discrepancies because reading a ruler is not that hard?
New bulbs
We have gone from the incandescent lamps and bulbs to those new energy-saving bulbs that can catch fire, and now the OFs say we are into the age of LED lighting. The OFs don’t seem to mind this new type of lighting. Light-emitting diodes seem safe and use very little power.
The OFs still haven’t adjusted to the energy-saving bulbs. These things do not always fit the fixtures, or the lamps. Some of the OFs say they think that the light from the energy-saving bulbs gives them headaches. One OF wondered if there has been a study done on this phenomenon.
Concerns over the fate of fox kits
Switching to another topic, we hear that some of the OFs have spotted red fox around with their kits. Foxes are neat animals to have around. They are timid and not at all aggressive.
“Foxes,” one OF said, “are like snakes. They keep the rodents and other unwanted pests down.”
The first OF said the fox that hangs around his place had four or five kits, which is about average for a litter of fox pups. But the OF said, in the last couple of days, he hasn’t seen the kits, or heard them and he is afraid some other animal has got them (like a cat or bird) because, when born, they are very small, only about four ounces or so.
One OF suggested it might even be a coon that got them because in the same area they have spotted a couple of coons.
Draft could fix brats
The Navy guys were at it again. This time was on how well most sailors eat.
Apparently the cooks in the Navy are well trained, because this has been brought up before. This scribe thinks that a cook aboard ship had better get it right; the cook has no place to run and hide, particularly on the smaller ships of 120 men or less.
When the OFs were YFs, there was a thing called the draft. Everyone was given a draft number and, if that number came up, that was it — you were off to the military.
For many guys, it was the best thing that happened to them (when the OFs were YFs, it was guys; girls did not get drafted — they could enlist but were not drafted). The camaraderie and the stories of events that happened in this period of the OFs’ lives continues well into the senior years to bring people together who have had the same, or similar, experiences.
Some OFs think there should still be a mandatory draft to teach some of today’s spoiled, bratty kids discipline and respect. The back talk and sass some of the kids give their parents and teachers make the OFs cringe, and sometimes it is the way their own grandkids treat their parents.
One OF said, “Should you back talk or sass just once to some tough, old drill sergeant, you wouldn’t say or do that again to anybody.”
One OF had a kid in his unit who was a real wimp, and who couldn’t even ride a bicycle, but during basic training he toughened up a bit and was assigned to a tank division. He became a tank driver, and in two to three weeks he was putting a Sherman tank through its paces as a tank commander. There is a young man who will go home a completely different person.
Those OFs who made it to the Country Café on Main Street in Schoharie, and were all dressed in clothes that seemed to fit, were: Roger Shafer, John Rossmann, Harold Guest, Chuck Aleseio, Dave Williams, Miner Stevens, Dick Ogsbury, George Washburn, Robie Osterman, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Roger Chapman, Steve Kelly, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, (who got a hug and a kiss from the waitress who is his granddaughter), Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Gerry Irwin, Mace Porter, Duncan Bellinger, Jim Rissacher, Gill Zabel, Elwood Vanderbilt, Mike Willsey, Gerry Chartier, Harold Grippen, and me.
Location:
On Tuesday, April 21, the Old Men of the Mountain met at Mrs. K’s Restaurant in Middleburgh where the OFs (who the wives kick out of the house so they can have some peace) gather to complain.
One item that has been on the OFs’ agenda for complaints is burning barrels in the country. In most towns, there is a ban on burning barrels
Middleburgh had a prime example of why the banning of burning barrels is important, and necessary. Just south of Middleburgh is Huntersland and on Sunday, April 19, a fire in a burn barrel got out of hand, and 80 acres of woods was eventually burned because of it.
It would have been far worse if the fire departments responding did not get that blaze under control. It took 12 fire companies to complete the task of corralling this fire.
Some of the OFs, particularly those who actually live in Huntersland, were with the second truck there. These OFs spent the whole day fighting that fire; the wind made this quite a challenge.
At one time, they thought they would have to evacuate a couple of homes on top of the mountain but all the work these people did in fighting the fire and the extreme effort these volunteers put out had it under control and it was not necessary to evacuate anyone.
The rains of Monday night were a big help all the way around. The woods were becoming prone to fires because they were so dry. One OF reported that, while Conesville was aiding in fighting this fire, they had calls that two fires had broken out in their own fire district.
This is a good example of first responders, and volunteers in “volunteer” fire companies demanding much more respect than is given by many people. These “volunteers” don’t demand anything, they are our neighbors, brothers and sisters, and it is just what they do. Some day, the family they save may be their own.
Serendipity
It never ceases to amaze this scribe at what transpires around the breakfast tables when the OMOTM are gathered. One OF who we have mentioned in previous columns has a serious health problem and is unable to walk.
With his insurance running out, he will not be able to remain in the facility he is in where he is getting the physical therapy he needs. This OF has a full-size van as a vehicle, which was his means of transportation before his problem set in.
OK! That sets up the following scene.
Some of the OFs go and play cards with the OF who requires the therapy and they were discussing his plight of transportation while playing cards and the probability that he will require a lift van to get in and out to go to therapy. They were talking with the OF in the facility about the possibility that he might need another van, or else try to obtain one of those lifts that goes out the back installed in his current vehicle.
When this conversation was repeated at the breakfast Tuesday morning, one OF pipes up, “Ya know, I have one of those lifts, brand new and complete with wiring, in my garage. If someone here knows how to install it, he can have it.”
You never know when the OFs who collect things are going to have just the thing another OF will need. If one OF needs a siren, another OF will have one.
This scribe has mentioned these types of scenarios before, but this has to be one of the better ones. Who would expect someone to require a wheelchair lift, and another one who happens to be in on the conversation to have a wheelchair lift just lying around. Go figure!
The follow-up will be to see if all this comes to pass. This will be a win-win for all involved.
The OF who needs the lift will have a lift and his life may be much better for it. The OF who has the lift (for no apparent reason other than the opportunity came up) was given it while he was picking up other items he bought at an estate sale.
The OF who now has the lift will have more space to store his unusual, and so far, great finds. To many of the OFs, the Lord has his hand in the pot from who knows when to wind up who knows where when it will be needed.
Keepers and chuckers
At another location at the same table, there was a discussion on the blood connection of a couple of the OFs. The OFs had just discussed cemeteries, and now they are on the same hallowed ground only with a different take — this was taking names from old burial records and matching them to tombstones. One OF brought in the records and it included the genealogy and photos of tombstones and the burial records.
The OFs for the most part are the type of people who respect what has gone on in the past and who the OFs are and how they got here. Most are the keeper type. Then there are the type of people who, if they don’t need or use it in 10 days, out it goes. There is no junk, or collectibles here, but the OFs have found that quite often the early chuckers depend a lot on the keepers, or pickers, or the “some day I will have a use for that’ type of OF.
The OFs believe in the barter system, and, if you have nothing to barter with — neither stuff nor time nor talent — you are in trouble in this group.
The OFs who found room at the tables in Mrs. K’s Restaurant, in Middleburgh, were: Frank Pauli, Harold Guest, Dick Ogsbury, Chuck Aleseio, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, Steve Kelly, Henry Witt, John Rossmann, Miner Stevens, Karl Remmers, George Washburn, Robie Osterman, Otis Lawyer, Roger Shafer, Roger Chapman, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Bob Benninger, Bob Fink, Don Wood, Warren Willsey, Mike Willsey, Gerry Chartier, Elwood Vanderbilt, Gill Zabel, Harold Grippen, Jim Rissacher, and me.
Location:
Ah! Tuesday, April 14, was finally a decent day. The Old Men of the Mountain who were gathered up by their designated drivers for this particular Tuesday wound up at the Middleburgh Diner in Middleburgh.
As time goes by, and the OFs become older OFs, those who were hard of hearing years ago are now more so. When three of the older OFs who are hard of hearing are seated together, there is a lot of staring off into space because all these OFs hear is the “Peanuts” speak of the TV shows, where Charlie Brown’s Christmas and the adult sounds are wah, wah, wahha, wa, wa.
That is what these OFs hear, because their hearing aids are on the dresser or in a drawer in the kitchen. Those things only work one on one, and only when it is relatively quiet. This scribe speaks from experience because he is one of the three sitting together.
Milk glut
In the column from a couple of weeks ago, the OMOTM mentioned the security of having a job with a farm in the family. Farmers who are involved with the OMOTM shared recent news of there being a glut of milk in our area of the Northeast; the co-op that handles the milk from some of these large dairies in the area are not going to take their milk because they have too much milk.
This became quite a discussion with these OFs. The OFs harkened back to many of the OFs’ heritage that of being farmers.
This is very shortsighted on the part of the co-op because many times when there is an over abundance of any commodity that is used on a regular basis and the powers that be decide to cut back, instead of cut down, eventually the abundance is used up and they have to gear up to meet the new demand.
After the farmers who were in the co-op are forced to sell all their cows because they can’t afford to stay in business, the OFs ask: Now what? It takes awhile to grow a cow.
One OF wondered, who is running this co-op? He asked, “Isn’t a co-op formed just to prevent this type of happening, and shouldn’t it work on behalf of those in the co-op?”
Another OF said, “The final outcome of the problem is still in the air as of this Tuesday.”
There may be a resolution to resolve the problem in the works as this is being typed.
Then some of the OFs got on the doomsayers of the press as they waddle in the mud of doom and gloom. So much for that!
Doom and gloom
Speaking of gloom and doom, the OFs entered into the conversation by speaking about how many of the OFs are having breakfast on a cloud in the sky. The OFs traveled back in time to the beginning and found the group on the cloud is larger in numbers now than the group at the Middleburgh Diner.
The OFs started to include other groups they are familiar with or were part of. One OF mentioned a photograph taken of the department where he worked, and said there were about 40 employees at that time; when he retired, there were five left.
This department kept the photo, and, as individuals left, they crossed off their head in the photo. That is an interesting concept, and a great way to remember those who are gone.
The OMOTM are fortunate because of the introduction of new blood. Many of the OFs had friends when they were still working and when the OF retired many of these friends come and have breakfast with the friends they had while they were working and who retired before them. Those newly retired friends also now have friends that are still working, and you guessed it — the show goes on.
Double urns
Like many conversations, whether it is OFs or not, the above discussion led to death and burials. This conversation was also prompted by the passing of Ted Pelkey, a loyal OF who was cremated and his memorial service was April 10.
The talk of double urns came up and was thought of as a neat idea. This way, one doesn’t have to invest in a huge burial plot, and is a good way to beat that “until death do us part” bit. This way, you can be buried together.
One thought: What about a great big urn with many compartments — then it would be possible to have the whole family with you.
One OF who was a Navy man said he isn’t going to need a burial plot; he is going to be cremated and his ashes spread on the sea.
Another OF thought that, as a gun enthusiast, he is going to instruct his family to find someone who loads their own bullets to stuff his ashes into some shotgun shells and shoot them off into the woods. Cool idea.
However, the ideas came quickly after that; some are not reportable.
Those OFs still on this side of the sod, and able to make it to the Middleburgh Diner in Middleburgh, were: Roger Chapman, Harold Guest, George Washburn, Miner Stevens, Chuck Aleseio, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Frank Pauli, Dave Williams, Robie Osterman, Otis Lawyer, Henry Witt, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Gerry Irwin, Don Wood, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Bill Krause, Jim Rissacher, Gil Zabel, Harold Grippen, Elwood Vanderbilt, Henry Whipple, and me.
Location:
On a very damp, raw day for April 7, the Old Men of the Mountain headed up the mountain to the Hilltown Café, in Rensselaerville to meet and eat.
Much of the chat this morning was quite repetitive of chats that have gone on before, i.e., worms; honey; honeybees, where is spring (with the desire for that spring enthusiasm); and finally, a few new — not really new but different — takes on some old topics.
One OF who used to do his own maple syrup said he hasn’t made any syrup in the last few years, and was telling about all the work involved in processing the sap into syrup. One reason for his not processing the syrup is because at one time he boiled the sap evaporator too long, and somehow the OF scorched the evaporator.
The OF then explained that he took the evaporator to George Gobel to have it repaired. The other OFs had a quizzical look on their faces as he was telling this story because they equated the name George Gobel with George Gobel, the well-known comedian, and not the George Gobel who lives in the Hilltowns and has a welding shop.
For the under-50 crowd, George Gobel was a very funny comedian who had his own show on T.V. George Gobel had a “crew cut” or “flattop” hairstyle, which stemmed from being a pilot in World War II.
“Well, I’ll be a dirty bird” was a George Gobel euphemism that was a very popular catchphrase in the 1950s and ’60s.
WhytheJapanesedidn’tconquerOklahoma.wmv is a very funny clip with George Gobel, Johnny Carson, Dean Martin, and Bob Hope. In this clip, keep your eye on Dean Martin.
George Gobel died in 1991 after undergoing heart surgery.
Anyway, getting back to the OF and his syrup, the OF said that Gobel Welding repaired his evaporator to a like-new condition. This OF said he is thinking about making syrup again but it will be a lot of work digging all this equipment out from where he stashed it a few years ago.
To the OFs now, that is the key (it will be a lot of work). If it involves a lot of work, the OFs now back off.
Winter water woes
Because this winter, while not the worst we’ve seen, is right up there with one of the worst, the OFs were talking about water problems. Not only have some of the OFs had water problems but we hear stories about a lot of others who have been in the same predicament.
Some water problems were not of the winter’s doing but just parts of their water systems decided to wear out and repairing them now became a winter situation. One OF who lives in the village and uses village water had the snowplow break the valve off at the line going into his home from the main line.
So the OF is without water, and the Department of Public Works decided to move that valve further back so the plow and valve would not come together again. Now the OF’s lawn is all torn up.
Another OF had to change a water pump that went bad, and the pump-repair person was standing in snow up to his knees for hours while doing the job, but at least the well was away from the house. Read on.
Another OF told of a friend who drilled his well and then built the house around it, concluding that this was a smart idea because the well would never freeze. That is true, but pumps do go bad from things other than freezing, and this one did.
The OF said, in order to pull the pump from the deep well, they had to cut holes in the floors and through the ceiling to facilitate the process.
Pranks of old
From last week we talked about pranks we pulled as YFs and these are pranks of old. Continuing this conversation, we noted the occurrences took place more than 50 or 65 years ago.
This particular prank is a classic and it was not revealed for over 50 years because it was done by one person who never mentioned it or told a soul until a class reunion some 50 years in the making. This prank the whole school knew about, and the whole community of Schoharie did also when it happened.
The OF in question just happens to be a classmate of an OF who eats breakfast with the rest of our distinguished group of OFs. In order to perfect this prank, the OF in question (when he was a YF) disguised his voice, which was not hard for him to do since he had lost the high-pitched voice of adolescence when he was in third grade.
This YF called the Schoharie Stone Quarry, which was directly behind the school, and ordered in the name of the school maintenance superintendent, two loads of stone. The YF directed the quarry where to dump the stone, giving the reason that the school was going to repair the drive and it required the delivery first thing in the morning. This way the school could have the job done by the end of the day.
The quarry did as directed; not knowing that, by dumping the stone where they were told to dump it, the stone would block all the school busses from getting out. And it did. In panic mode, school had to be canceled, and parents notified.
In this case, no damage was done, no one hurt, just a bunch of ticked-off school officials, and the stone was used to repair the bus area, and the test that the YF was trying to get out of was given the next day. So there, the school won, and the YF had only one day’s reprieve.
Condolences
Once again, The Old Men of the Mountain must offer condolences to family and friends of another member who has passed away. Ted Pelkey entered into the final, resting peace we all must venture into some day; there is no escaping it.
Teddy was 96 years old and he often said he had been on this planet long enough.
The OFs who hauled their creaky frames up the mountain to the Hilltown Café in Rensselaerville for their candlelight breakfast with enjoyable repartee were: Frank Pauli, Harold Guest, John Rossmann, Robie Osterman, Karl Remmers, Miner Stevens, Dave Williams, Bob Snyder, Jack Norray, Lou Schenk, Mace Porter, Otis Lawyer, Glenn Patterson, Chuck Aleseio, Mark Traver, Jim Heiser, Elwood Vanderbilt, Gil Zabel, Ted Willsey and his daughter Sally, Bill Krause, and me.
Location:
The Old Men of the Mountain met at the Home Front Café in Altamont on the last day of March 2015 and early in the morning it was not too pleasant. The air was cold and the wind was blowing, and the OFs queried, “So what else is new?” At least the Home Front was warm, and had the wake-up smell of breakfast in the air.
Quite often, it is noted how the OFs arrive at the restaurant of the day and what type of transportation they’re using. Tuesday morning, one of the “gang” (as a couple OFs have noted the OMOTM have been called by some of their younger friends) showed up with his passengers in a new Nissan Leaf — a zero-emission car. That alone takes years off being an OMOTM just by the jump into today’s technology.
This vehicle is fully electric, can be charged at home overnight (we don’t know how much that costs in electricity) and it is ready to go the next day provided it is just running around town. At least there are no gas or oil changes to contend with.
There is one question though: How much of the battery will it take to operate the heater and air conditioner? Those two things are energy sucker-uppers.
The body ages faster than the mind
The OFs began discussing how old they are. This topic does not come up often; it is not something the OFs think about much — only when they get up in the morning and have to get the body cranked up.
After that, it is a personal thing and, once the body gets going, age by the numbers is basically gone, and age by the mind takes over. The age on getting up says, “Boy, my 80-year-old body creaks like an old pirate ship in a stiff breeze.”
Once going ,the mind thinks the OF is a 50-year-old. That can get many OFs into trouble because that sack of grain the OFs used to lift (still 100 pounds) now weighs a ton to the OFs of 80 years. Eighty vs. 50 takes over now.
Listening to the OFs say their ages Tuesday morning around one end of the table lets all the OFs know why we are the OMOTM number-wise, but 50 mind-wise.
The age discussion worked its way into retirement and retirement plans. When the OFs were young, retiring, and retirement plans were not even thought of. Many worked on the farm; at that time, the job security was perpetual, from father to son or daughter, and so on.
Somewhere along the line, that changed. The OFs thought it was a byproduct of World War II. A lot of the people of the era before World War II are having tough times now because they are older and body parts are wearing out.
The cost of keeping these people wired together is going out of sight. Many OFs have been retired 20 or more years, and have really learned to manage their money because there is not much money coming in now.
Cemeteries from on high
The OFs went from age, to retirement, to cemeteries. Now that is a progression that is fitting for OMOTM.
One OF mentioned this is the time of year to look for old cemeteries from a low, slow-flying plane like a Piper J3, or some home-built aircraft. From the plane — and some of the OFs have done this — the OF is able to see stone-wall fences meandering through the woods to nowhere.
You might even see the stone fences and old cemeteries by driving down the highway now, because it is possible to look deep into the woods where there are no leaves on the underbrush.
These old family burial plots contain many of the names of the people of the Hilltowns and may fill in the blanks of much of the history of the area. These same cemeteries (location and history) could also explain the reason for some of the stone-wall fences, and why they are where they are.
It was also mentioned that some old cemeteries are abandoned because the family has died out, or those connected with the cemetery have left and moved away. Therefore, it is the responsibility of the town to maintain these plots.
But they can’t do that if they don’t know where these places are. An OF was wondering if it would be a cool project to locate, catalogue, and map as many of these old burial grounds as could be found.
That also may facilitate finding the reasons for all the ghost stories of the hills, maybe even spot a few ghosts. They are around, you know.
Lonely old barns
Without realizing what is going on with the barn in New Scotland by the golf club, the OFs talked about the demise of so many older barns in the hills. The farms are gone, and the barns sit so lonely and no one pays any attention to them.
There is no preventative maintenance and no immediate damage repair — the barns take the brunt of it. Finally, the poor things just give up and collapse.
The reason the OFs can relate to these old structures, with all their history, is because the old barn is akin to many older people. They’re like old barns out in the field left alone to collapse, taking all their knowledge with them.
The OFs did discuss how individuals are restoring a few of the structures. The old post-and-beam barns held together with wooden pegs have been battling the elements for centuries and one OF said many are still as square as when they were built.
One OF thought that these abandoned buildings may still be teeming with life. There are birds finding refuge in their rafters; squirrels, chipmunks, and field mice roaming freely in their stone foundations; and snakes might be raising their young under the old decaying floor boards.
Even after collapsing, the old barn will still offer shelter to all these field critters. One OF said: Don’t forget all the bugs and beetles that will feed off the barn’s decaying structure, then the skunks come and coons, and that decaying barn becomes a world unto its own.
An OF concluded with it being a good thing we at the breakfast table are old barns but we sure are being well-maintained and nourished — look at some of the breakfasts these OFs are packing away.
Those OFs who made it to the Home Front Café in Altamont, and who may not still be square, but who have not fallen down yet, were: Karl Remmers, Dick Ogsbury, Henry Witt, Roger Chapman, George Washburn, Robie Osterman, Bill Lichliter, John Rossmann, Harold Guest, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, Chuck Aleseio, Frank Pauli, Lou Schenck, Bill Krause, Bob Benninger, Bob Fink, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, Ted Willsey (2), Jim Rissacher (2), and me.