Oct. 31, All Saints Day 2017, was a Tuesday, and as the scribe looked around at the Old Men of the Mountain in Mrs. K’s Restaurant in Middleburgh, this scribe was hardpressed to find any saints.
There were many people there this scribe knew, but as for being saints — this scribe doesn’t think so. There may have been some saints in the form of other patrons in the room but this scribe is not even sure about that. Then again, they all may be saints. Who is this scribe to judge who is a saint and who is not?
Unwanted furniture heaven
Most people run into this following dilemma every now and then. That is trying to remove a large item from the house that no one wants, and it is too large, or heavy, or won’t go through the doorway to get it out of the house.
A couple of OFs have, and have had this problem. One OF had a player piano that was falling apart, and did not work at all. The rolls were all chewed up by squirrels and mice. The instrument was in such bad shape, it wouldn’t even make a good piece of furniture if the guts were removed and shelves were put inside it to turn it into a conversation piece, as well as another place to store chotskies.
The OF managed to shove the piano to the patio doors because it was on wheels that really did not want to roll. With a little OF persuasion, the OF made it. The OF thought it was almost like the piano knew what was going to happen — that is why it refused to roll.
Lastly, he tied a rope around the piano and pulled it out with his tractor and the piano immediately broke into pieces when it hit the ground. The OF said eventually it made a nice bonfire.
The other OF has a pool table that no one wants. This is current; the table is resting in his heated basement as the column is being typed.
This OF asked at the breakfast if anyone wanted the table. He said it weighs about 800 pounds and has a felt-covered slate top. He also said it should be taken apart to move; otherwise it is going to meet the piano in the same way that the piano met its demise in the unwanted furniture heaven.
This OF is currently waiting to see if he has any takers on his offer. Anybody want a pool table?
Gone like the Dodo
The OFs next discussed the Corvair automobile. One OF had owned one and he said it was a great vehicle. The OFs started a discussion on the design of the car and said that the addition of some sort of sway bar would prevent the propensity of the vehicle to roll over.
Another OF said the vehicle had another problem — the motor mounts would rot off and the engine would fall out. That is another whoop, but it seemed to other OFs that both problems would have been easy fixes.
Sadly, the Corvair is no longer around like many other car models and manufacturers. One OF said, “In a few years, people are going to say a Chevy, or Ford, or even a Chrysler will all be gone like the Dodo bird.”
Many of the OFs mentioned cars that they really liked and would like to have back. One OF said, “It isn’t only cars — it can be shoes, hats, jackets, and lots of other things.”
A second OF said, “Yeah, how about old girlfriends?”
“Thin ice,” some OF shouted!
Speaking of old things, the OFs thought the reason we wanted old things back is because they were made better. One of the reasons the OFs think that way is because they (whoever they are) are using plastic instead of metal where metal should be used.
Plastic is OK, one OF thought, but not in all circumstances.
Another OF offered some sage advice: “We are around to see that cars, trucks, tractors, planes, old tools, and appliances, made in the ’30s and ’40s are still around and functioning, but will we be around when something made in the years of 2000 to 2017 will be around 70 years later?”
“I think not,” the OF said.
Yet another OF added that some of the junk built today that is supposed to last that long craps out in five years.
At that rate, there isn’t going to be anything to check on in 70 years. The technology of today wasn’t around in the ’40s, and ’50s. Many of the components connected with this new equipment could last 100 years. However, we will never know because the technology behind this manufacturing changes from day to day and makes the products obsolete from day to day.
How are we going to tell how long these items will last when their usefulness lasts such a short period of time?
Costs go ever upward
As usual, the OFs talked about the cost of living now and back in the day when jeans were five bucks. This time, it was on the expected power hikes, and the projected increase in Social Security.
It was thought by the OFs that the Social Security increase was going to be about 2 percent. Then, the OFs think, there is going to be an increase by some government agency to negate that 2 percent. It always does.
One OF thought that the timing of the power hike and the Social Security increase is no coincidence. This scribe did a little research, (darn little) but interesting.
There are about 61 million people on Social Security. Using a figure of $1,000 at 2 percent is twenty bucks. Multiply that by 61 million and you have a whopping number coming out of the treasury.
Those OFs who made it to Mrs. K’s Restaurant in the heart of downtown Middleburgh, and using the proposed Social Security increase to purchase half a tank of gas to get there, were: Harold Guest, Bill Lichliter, Roger Chapman, John Rossmann, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Richard Frank, Chuck Aelesio, Jim Heiser, Roger Shafer, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, Wayne Gaul, Ted Feurer, Jake Lederman, Herb Bahrmann, Mace Porter, Gerry Irwin, Bob Benninger, Bob Fink, Mike Willsey, Ted Willsey, Jerry Willsey, Elwood Vanderbilt, Marty Herzog, Jim Rissacher, Gerry Chartier, Harold Grippen, and me.
Location:
On Tuesday, Oct. 24, unfortunately, this scribe was unable to be at the Old Men of the Mountain’s breakfast at the Middleburgh Diner.
This scribe knows how strict the rules are for attendance; however, there does come a time when more pressing situations evolve. This scribe did check with the board of directors and received permission to be absent.
With this scribe being absent, a loyal OMOTM agreed to take the names of the OFs present, and, as always, this gives us protection from law enforcement and wives who want to know where the OFs are when out of their sight.
Fortunately, no OF has requested that this scribe report his being at the breakfast when he wasn’t there so, in court, the other OFs would be able to attest that Joe Blow was at the breakfast and it would be true. This is just in case some bimbo says that Joe Blow was with her at the time he was at the Middleburgh Diner. Maybe later on in the day that may be true but not while the breakfast was in progress at the diner.
This column will be from notes taken at previous breakfasts that were not used in previous columns, but the names noted here will be of those at the breakfast on the 24th. There! All the legal jargon is done. This scribe will now continue with all the news that is fit to print — fit being the appropriate word.
Where are the Fertile Myrtles?
Awhile back, the OFs were wondering what had happened to the Fertile Myrtles — if they are still around and still get together. The OFs have not seen any reports of their activities in the paper in quite awhile.
The OMOTM has open enrollment: As long as someone is ambulatory with at least one cane and thinks he can fit in with a bunch of OFs (and that is, in a sense, Old Farmers), he can belly up.
The Fertile Myrtles may be a closed organization and, as many FMs start viewing grass from the root side, it will eventually dwindle to just one. When the time comes, the waitress will have to be the one that turns that chair over.
Mansions on the Hill
The OFs discussed the large home on Old Stage Road in Knox and what a place that is — particularly at night when it is all lit up. Some of the OFs mentioned stopping and taking pictures to send friends and relatives.
Then they started talking about some of the other large homes on the Hill and there are a few. They specifically mentioned the one on Elm Avenue in East Berne, and the ones across from each other on Route 143, just off Route 85, heading towards Rensselaerville. These are a few of the obvious ones and there are many other nice homes tucked in these-har hills.
Making new memories
Often times — and as this scribe reads back in his notes, he sees it is quite often — it is cars, trucks, boats, and tractors that occupy much of the conversations of the OFs. One discussion was a combination of age and youth at the same time.
Many of the OFs when they were YFs spent their formative years on sports cars, muscle cars, and the like. If the vehicle had 400 horsepower, it was for them. Or, if it were no larger than an upholstered roller skate and only four inches off the ground, it was for them.
MGs, Austin Healeys, Jags, Triumphs, Cobras, they were for these YFs. Now all the OFs can do is look at them.
The number-one problem is that the OFs’ backs and legs won’t bend to let the OFs get into these sporty, youngish-designed vehicles, and, if they do get in them, it takes two men and a boy to get them out.
This is one area where many of the OFs live in memories. The good part about this is the OFs took the time to make the memories.
This is another one of the cases where the minds says, “Yeah, you OF, you can do this but the body says, ”Like h--- you can, you Old Goat.”
If an OF listens to the mind and heart, the body later on makes the OF pay for it, at the chiropractor’s, the doctor’s, or in physical therapy but the OF pays! It might only be a week with the Aleve. Anyway, if the OF does chance it, this OF had a few moments of making new memories by reliving the past.
Those OFs who were ambulatory and functionally literate, and made it to the Middleburgh Diner in Middleburgh were: Roger Chapman, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Sonny Mercer, Marty Herzog, Bill Lichliter, Roger Shafer, Harold Guest, John Rossmann, Mace Porter, Jack Norray, Gerry Irwin, Ted Feurer, Wayne (and it is Wayne) Gaul, Lou Schenck, Jim Rissacher, Mike Willsey, Warren Willsey, Gerry Willsey, Gerry Chartier, Bob Benninger, Bob Fink, Ken Parks, Harold Grippen, and Not Me.
Location:
On Tuesday, Oct. 17 (the chilliest day in a long time), the Old Men of the Mountain met at Kim’s West Wind Diner in Preston Hollow. In Huntersland, a couple of OFs reported temperatures of 25 degrees; some of the OFs had around 30 to 35 degrees.
At Kim’s place, there was about 1/16th of an inch of frost on the two picnic tables outside. One OF said, “Ah nuts,” while another said, “It’s about time.” The “ah nuts” OF was the one who was switching to coal.
Kim’s is a small place and the entrance is about in the middle of the front wall of the restaurant. There is a row of booths on either side of the door, and then Kim has the tables all lined up down what is basically the center, leaving room for a small counter at the back of the dining area in the restaurant.
This makes the OFs who come in right smack in the center of things. It is nostalgic and fun to hear the greetings back and forth as the OFs arrive. It is very similar to Archie’s barbershop on “Hee Haw,” or the greetings as people enter the bar on “Cheers.” It isn’t only Kim’s but some of the other restaurants also have the same tone about them.
The OFs started to talk about wild boars in New York. Most of the OFs had not heard of these pests being in New York.
An OF said they are a problem and, as far as he knows, it is illegal to own one, release one, or hunt or trap them. This OF thought they were brought in by hunt clubs and got out of hand because they bred so fast.
“They are around, and the DEC is trying to get rid of them,” he said of the state’s Department of Environmental Conservation.
“Another thing to watch for during a walk in the woods,” a second OF commented.
Corn conundrum
Any ride in the country by the OFs (particularly the little portion of New York that the OFs call home), you will see there are acres and acres of corn. Corn to the right — corn to the left.
The OFs say there are not enough cows in New York State for this to be cow corn; grain or ethanol must be the reason for this outburst of corn everywhere. It has to be a cash crop.
“Corn and hops,” one OF said. ‘Why not corn for liquor, and hops for beer. Hey, that will keep everybody happy.”
A sticky wicket
Another problem that is nationwide hit one of the OFs and that is the “hacking scare.” He said his bank account was hacked and he did not know it.
The OF said his credit-card carrier caught it by telling him someone was trying to open an account using his name and Social Security number. The bank instructed the OF on what to do, and one of the steps was to immediately let the police know.
This opened a conversation about the flippant use of the Social Security number as identification where on the card it says not to be used for identification — Hmmm. Then why do so many places ask you for your Social Security number? What happens if an OF refuses to give it to them? What happens if a place says credit cards only?
One OF said they can’t do that because right on your money it states that it has to be accepted. What if someone does not believe in credit cards? Are they now being discriminated against was another question.
This scribe checked the internet on using the Social Security number for identification. Only 15 entities were listed; all were related to the government.
You should say no to all the others since by law they cannot ask for it. On credit cards, a business can specify credit cards only.
When dollars and coins were printed with their inscription of legal tender, etc. the electronic world was not even a gleam in the eye. The credit card is the acceptance of the same dollar only in electronic form; therefore it is OK to specify that only credit cards will be accepted.
The same goes for refusing to accept large bills — like 100 dollar bills. The argument goes that legal tender will be accepted, only not in large amounts, or something like that.
The discrimination thing is a sticky wicket. What if a person has poor credit or has gone bankrupt by a legitimate deal that unfortunately turned bad but he or she is still working and has money, but not allowed to get a credit card — now what? The OFs dug really deep this morning.
Buying a dead horse
The OFs keep saying they have lived in the best of times, and simpler times.
The OFs were wondering whatever happened to a handshake closing a deal, no money down, come back in a couple of days, hand the guy three-hundred bucks, and the horse was yours. Now it takes two Philadelphia lawyers, reams of paperwork, and your wife and firstborn as collateral just to begin a discussion on whether the OF is able to purchase the horse in the first place.
Then a vet is required, and the state asks for six 10-page forms to be filled out and notarized that the horse is healthy. Then the sheriff becomes involved to prove the horse wasn’t stolen.
Then the American society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has to check the living quarters to see if they are sufficient for the horse to live in once you get it home. The process takes so long that in the interim the horse has aged and died.
The OF is now out of his collateral of wife and firstborn, and still does not have the horse. Such are the times of today.
Those OFs who are afraid the days of the handshake deal is done and bemoaned the fact at Kim’s West Winds Diner in Preston Hollow were: Bill Lichliter, John Rossmann, Roger Chapman, Harold Guest, George Washburn, Robie Osterman, Bob Snyder, Karl Remmers, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Mace Porter, Gerry Irwin, Herb Bahrmann, Jake Lederman, Ted Feurer, Ray Gaul, Warren Willsey, Mike Willsey, Gerry Chartier, and me.
Location:
The days are noticeably shorter, which has the Old Men of the Mountain heading out in the dark, and sometimes catching the sunrise on their way to the restaurants.
This past week, the OMOTM traveled to the Hilltown Café in Rensselaerville. The trip in the early morning mist was slow because at that time of the morning the deer and the antelope play. To these critters, woods and roads are the same so the OFs, wary of this situation, take care.
Tuesday morning, there were reports of Santa’s sleigh propulsion system cavorting along the sides of the road.
The OFs keep advising people that, at whatever age you want to start, it is a good idea to develop at least one hobby that is interesting but does not take too much effort. Hobbies like writing, art, music, building models, wood carving, or even rug hooking, which are hobbies that can be done sitting down.
The more active hobbies like skiing, race-car driving, motorcycle motocross, skydiving, or rock climbing arrive at a point where the person is now like us, an OF, and he can’t take part in them anymore.
Travel is one thing that keeps the OFs going (pun intended); not only do the OFs have the experience of traveling but get to tell stories of their trips at the breakfasts.
One OF told of his trip to Lowell, Massachusetts and a World War II gathering. The trip was organized by the local World War II equipment collectors’ club and they traveled by bus.
Another told of his trip by bus to an event in Canada. Other OFs are in clubs that do things that are easy on the body, but active for the mind and at least get the OFs moving.
Bugged
Much conversation then ensued on a variety of topics. We are finding the stink bugs are only a pest in certain areas.
One OF asked some other OFs (who live off the Hill) how they are handling the stink-bug problem and they said that they never heard of the bug and they don’t have them. They said they have tons of lady bugs but no stink bugs.
One OF said the lady bugs were brought in a few years ago to eat the larva of the moth that was defoliating trees, and it worked but now we are left with the lady bugs.
Another OF said those little suckers can bite.
Yet another OF said they are thinking of doing the same thing with these darn stink bugs. The thought is to bring in some kind of wasp (the OF couldn’t remember what kind) and these wasps would do the same thing to the stink bug that the lady bug did to the moth — feed on the larva.
Then one OF asked, “Are we going to be stuck with another type of wasp? We have enough of those already.”
Beautiful boats
The OFs talked about the beauty of the older wooden boat runabouts. An OF thought the plastic “boats” plying the waterways today can’t hold a candle to how beautiful the wooden boats were — and are because some are still on the water.
One OF thought the older boats even sounded different; they seem to have a nice rumble to them.
“Yeah,” an OF said. “You can have them to look at, but maintaining them is a different story. The newer ones, unless you hit a rock, will never leak, and they consume less fuel to run. Those older wooden boats were heavy and it took a lot of gas to push those things through the water.”
An OF answered back, “Yeah, you can have a good-looking chick on your arm and she is as cold as ice, or one a little on the heavy side, nice, but not model quality — yet hotter than a pistol.” This OF maintained he would take the pistol. The same thing goes for the boats.
Night mysteries
The OGs had a discussion on sleep apnea. It seems it is more prevalent than the OFs thought. This condition has potential fatal effects because, in one particular type, the person that has it actually stops breathing for short periods of time. When this occurs, the brain and other parts of the body receive no oxygen.
One OF mentioned that his wife has this problem and sleeps with a mask. The OF said, when she is sleeping, she will stop breathing 40 times a minute. With the mask she sleeps fine — just like normal.
Other OFs have this malady and it is good to know that it can be controlled and without pills. Looking around this group, it sometimes appears that most are asleep anyway so they may not be getting night sleep, but day sleep is taking care of it.
One OF says he does not like to go to sleep; because his dreams are so scary, he fights going to sleep. Another said his dreams are so real that the dreams seem like life, and life seems like a dream.
Still another OF said he doesn’t dream at all. He goes to bed at night and wakes up in the morning and that’s it.
Another OF said he dreams basically the same pattern of dreams over and over.
One OF said he can remember some of his dreams, but in some cases, when he would like to remember a particular dream and tell his wife about it, that usually turns out to be the one he can’t remember.
The Bible says, “Your old men will dream dreams” and that was 2,000 years ago; nothing seems to change.
Wouldn’t a psychiatrist like to get a hold of this group?
The OFs who made it through the deer, and over the back roads, and still maintain it is worth the trip to the Hilltown Café in Rensselaerville were: Roger Chapman, Bill Lichliter, George Washburn, Robie Osterman, Harold Guest, John Rossmann, Glenn Patterson, Karl Remmers, Bob Snyder, Chuck Aelesio, Richard Frank, Jake Lederman, Ray Gaul, Ted Feurer, Rev. Jay Francis, Lou Schenck, Mace Porter, Gerry Irwin, Warren Willsey, Mike Willsey, Jack Norray, Marty Herzog, Jim Rissacher, Bill Rice, Henry Whipple, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.
Location:
The first Tuesday in October 2017, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Home Front Café in Altamont.
The Old Men of The Mountain wonder why so many times, when they plan an outdoor event, or plan to attend an outdoor event, the weather so often turns crappy. Such was the case with many plans the OFs had on Saturday, Sept. 30.
The day before was great; the day after was great; the day of the event was a day of a cold wind, damp, and a drizzle that was continuous — the type of day where the cold went right through you. Nothing like what the weather guys said.
On the Hill, it was 44 degrees in the morning and 44 degrees at one o’clock in the afternoon, and the sun hid for the whole day. What a bummer.
Delusions in Florida?
In Florida, there is a retirement village aptly named “The Villages” that many of the OFs are familiar with. Some of the OFs actually winter on the outskirts of this retirement location.
The conversation revolved around how large the community is and the amenities that are in this retirement village. However, it is these amenities that the OFs find interesting.
One “interesting” part is that the older single senior ladies of The Villages get dressed to the nines and go to the shopping areas on the prowl, looking for older single men. One OF said to some these men don’t even have to be sing — they might be just alone with no lady around.
The OFs said it would be worth the price of admission, if there were admission, just to watch the show; however, it is free. Hey, they are old — let them have their fun was a general thought. This scribe’s wife believes that these OFs must be a little delusional.
One OF said that, in some areas of Florida, the running show is watching seniors driving, trying to get into parking spaces, ignoring traffic signals, traveling 20 miles an hour in a great big older Cadillac, or going 90 miles an hour with just a pair of eyes peering through the steering wheel.
One OF said, “They don’t ignore the traffic signals; they just can’t see them.” To which this scribe says, in this group of OFs, which is the pot and which is the kettle?
The population of The Villages, which is just one of many retirement communities in the state of Florida, is 157,000; for comparison, the population of the city of Albany in 2016 was about 99,000.
The OFs said The Villages have many golf courses, their own churches, shopping centers, and theaters — and the place is owned by one family. The OFs did not mention fire and police departments, doctors or hospitals, or even mortuaries.
Again, this scribe is sure that many readers are familiar with this housing development in Florida and may know more than what the OFs were talking about.
Smart trees?
Change of topics led us to pine cones. The OFs want to know what is going on with all the pine cones, at least on the Hill, and in the surrounding area.
Predicting the weather by using pine cones indicates a cold winter, nothing about snow. The OFs are saying that, with all this nice weather we are having right now, we are going to get dumped on sooner or later.
One OF said this fall, color-wise, so far has been a bummer, but weather-wise it has been a nice fall, and we have missed a repeat of 30 years ago with the October snowstorm.
This scribe looked up pine cones and found it takes a tree three years to produce a cone so it would have to be one smart tree to predict the weather three years in advance, but we shall see. There are a lot of cones, and they are opening up almost like popcorn, if this means anything.
Hastening global warming
The OFs discussed how this type of weather we are having right now tends to lull many into putting off having their snow blowers looked at and serviced, plus having their snow tires put on.
“Now is the time to do it,” one OF said. “This isn’t going to last until April.”
“Why not?” another OF asked. “Aren’t we in a serious global-warming period?”
A third OF said, “I am going to switch to coal so I can hurry that global-warming thing along. I am tired of shoveling snow.”
A different OF said, “Just you wait — this is going to be a winter where the stores are going to have to put tire chains back in stock; snow tires won’t cut the mustard this year.”
The OF also thought we OFs better have some young bucks signed up to shovel off the roof. Again, we shall see.
Weather wise
The OF gardeners also took part in the weather conversation in a roundabout way. The OFs said they had thought their gardens would produce nothing and all of sudden they have big red tomatoes by the bushel, also peppers. (Red tomatoes and green peppers, side by side, make a colorful combination, and are nutritious if your stomach can stand the acid.)
One OF mentioned he is still picking blackberries, and has more than he has ever had and only from two bushes. The OFs wonder if all the produce (in our area of the world) coming on is another weather predictor.
We have pine cones, abundant crops, squirrels tails, woolly bears, lots of little critters like rabbits and squirrels running all over the place, and little birds, even blue jays hiding somewhere.
The OFs ask, “What does this mean?”
“Who knows?” were the replies.
Yet again, we shall see. That is the fun part — trying to guess what is going to happen when actually we don’t know what is going to happen in the next second. But it is better to be the ant than the grasshopper.
Well, most of The Old Men of the Mountain who met at the Home Front Café in Altamont are ants, and those ants were: Roger Chapman, Miner Stevens, Bill Lichliter, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Harold Guest, Pete Whitbeck, John Rossmann, Dave Williams, Otis Lawyer, Mark Traver, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Mace Porter, Gerry Irwin, Mike Willsey, Warren Willsey, Russ Pokorny, Rev. Jay Francis, Elwood Vanderbilt, Henry Whipple, Harold Grippen, and me.
Location:
Tuesday, Sept. 26, was an unusual day in two respects. One was the temperature, breaking record highs for the few days remaining in September, and two was where the breakfast was held.
On this particular Tuesday, the Old Men of the Mountain were served breakfast by other Old Men of the Mountain at the Berne Masonic Lodge in Berne. The OFs of the lodge (who are also part of the Old Men of the Mountain) decided it would be fun to have breakfast at the lodge — and indeed, it was fun.
It was fun to watch what effort it took eight guys to do, when at some restaurants the OFs frequent, they manage to have only one cook, one waitress, and, if they are lucky, one doing dishes.
It must be said these guys did all right: The coffee kept flowing, the toast kept coming, and the French toast and eggs were done to order. The home fries were seasoned and done right, and they, too, kept coming.
The breakfast was part family style, and part done to order at the same time. On the table were slips of paper with a place to write the OFs name, table number, and what he wanted and how they wanted it cooked. This paper was taken to the kitchen (term used loosely) where it was prepared.
As far as this scribe can ascertain, there were no screw-ups. For the OF who likes some of his food done quite well — even better than quite well, burned is more like it — the Lodge boys filled the request on that slip also.
Another plus for the guys — the meals were hot! That is always a good sign.
These lodge OFs were better than some restaurants that have the meal ready and then stick it under heat lamps until the waitress has time to pick it up and bring it to the table. A little aside to this from the scribe: The OFs are lucky because this generally does not happen at the restaurants in the circle the OFs frequent.
The ambience was like eating in a Boy Scout camp dining hall, only with much more decorum. No camp counselors were around with whistles that they used to keep blowing to restore order.
A few of the OFs had trouble locating the lodge, but obviously not too much trouble because these OFs managed to show up at the lodge right on time. Fortunately, the meal was fun and different. If an OF felt the service was bad, or the food was rotten, who was he going to complain to? The complaining OF might have been drummed right out of the corps.
Three hurricanes
The OFs talked, among other things, about the three storms that have slammed into Texas, Louisiana, Florida, and the Islands to the southeast of Florida like Puerto Rico and the rest of the islands strung out in those few latitudes.
“What a mess” was the general comment of the OFs. “They all need help.”
However, as one OF put it, “Texas and Florida are states loaded with billionaires, but Puerto Rico and those islands around it have nothing.”
“Well,” one OF said, “at least one of those islands has that Branson fella.” (This would be Sir Richard Branson, whose net worth, according to Forbes, is $5 billion.)
Many little bits do the most good
One OF said that he and his family went to a venue down South, paid to get in, and the OF said he paid for everybody. Once inside, he noticed a sign that said “seniors” got in for less money.
It wasn’t a whole lot less, the OF said, but he went back to the ticket booth and showed it to the young girl in the cashier’s booth and the OF told her it wasn’t much and it would be OK if it wasn’t honored because he did not see the sign until inside.
In the typical southern drawl and smile, the little girl said, “Oh honey, I don’t mind,” as she handed him the money. “Every little bit helps.”
The OF said he always has remembered this, and so often it is the many little bits that do the most good.
The Big Apple loses its polish
The OFs do not visit New York City much anymore as there is not much down there to attract them. If they are going to a ball game, they will take a bus.
The OFs mentioned friends of theirs that live in the city or the environs thereof who have difficulty trying to park a car, or even own a car down there. One OF said, just to park a car in the city costs between $600 and $800 a month.
That, this scribe can’t refute or substantiate, but can understand, because relatives of this OF don’t even own a car who live in the city; they can get around without a car because of public transportation. If they want to, or have to, leave the city for any reason, they rent a car.
One OF commented, “Imagine the car rental agencies in New York city renting cars to drivers that only drive a car about six or seven times a year. No wonder we pay so much to rent a car up here. We are paying for the way the cars must come back to the rental agencies in the big cities.”
One OF said he drives all the time and hates driving downstate where everyone thinks their car is a tank. Picture getting behind the wheel and starting out in that mess when you haven’t had your hands on a steering wheel in months.
As one other OF put it, “What fun.”
Those Old Men of the Mountain who made it to the Masonic Lodge in Berne, by whatever circuitous route they choose to get there, were: Bill Lichliter, John Rossmann, Harold Guest, Pete Whitbeck, Miner Stevens, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Herb Bahrmann, Roger Shafer, Art Frament, Bob Benac, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Otis Lawyer, Jake Leberman, Ted Feurer, Bill Bartholomew, and Warren Willsey, Duncan Bellinger. Kitchen help and servers were: Lou Scheck, Mace Porter, Wayne Gaul, Jack Norray, Gerry Irwin, John Jacniewski, Ray Gaul, and me.
Location:
If it weren’t for church on Sunday, and The Old Men of the Mountain on Tuesday, this scribe would not know what day of the week it was. So with that reckoning, this scribe knows it was Tuesday, Sept. 19, that The Old Men of the Mountain met at the Chuck Wagon Diner on Route 20 in Princetown.
It would seem to be that only the early arrivers had the opportunity to enjoy the nostalgic feeling with the smells of the early morning, just a slight breeze, and a thin veil of fog filling the air, but this same atmosphere was there even for the late arrivers. Time for the OFs to just stand outside of the diner and take it in. And many OFs did, not even knowing they were doing what they were doing.
Often this time of year takes the farmers of the OMOTM back to mornings like this and walking to the barn and then sliding the barn door back to catch the sounds of the cows as they stir. The stanchions were making their own noise as the cows stood up, and the barn cats were stretching out and jumping from the cows’ backs and scurrying to the turned-over old milk-can covers waiting for their first splash of warm milk.
Those were the days!
The OFs said you did not lock your doors, and people weren’t shooting people in the streets. Where and when did this type of culture come into our society?
One OF said we brought it on ourselves with the eye in the living room called a TV. According to this OG’s opinion, that’s when this country went to Hell in a handbasket.
“Technology,” the OF said, “for all the good it does, it is also responsible in many ways for all the bad that is going on.”
Another OF thought that it doesn’t make sense to put all the blame in one pot. This scribe thought of the movie, “The Gods Must Be Crazy,” which showed trouble in a close, tight-knit society that basically had no problems until the introduction of a simple Coke bottle. This Coke bottle completely interrupted this society’s social structure. In this movie, there was so much tension, squabbles, and unhappiness the only thing to do was to get rid of the Coke bottle.
Messy geese
This is also the time of year when not only the OFs but many people notice the familiar “V”s of the Canada geese flying south, only many OFs say they don’t go that far south. One OF said they don’t go much further south than Poughkeepsie, or Red Hook, or Wappingers Falls.
Some of the OFs who are OF transplants and once were Long Islanders (although one started out in the hills of Schoharie) said the geese do go a little further down — like Long Island — and are a complete nuisance there.
Wherever these birds decide to camp, they make a mess. One OF said on a golf course on Long Island there is what is known as the “goose poop” trap. So many geese hang out in this particular part of the course that, if you are not a very good golfer and make a short drive off the tee and land short of the poop, you might take another shot over this untidiness.
On the other hand, if some golfers think they are good golfers and plan on shooting over the poop area, you had better be darn good because, if the ball lands in that goose dropping area, that golfer is deep trouble.
Why? Number one, the droppings look like golf balls and therefore it might take half an hour to find it. The other thing that is discouraging is that swinging through all that “stuff,” the club now has to be washed because that “stuff” sprays all over.
Many golfers, if they land in the goose poop trap, take the penalty of taking another whack at the ball, because the final insult is — your shoes are ruined.
Another Island OF said that particular golf course wasn’t the only place the geese have discovered, and he started naming parking lots, and beaches that those flying manure-spreaders made completely unusable. One OF mentioned one of these places brought in dogs to shoo the geese away, but that was only a temporary fix.
Another OF said social status makes no difference. This OF said he was at one of the classiest hotels in the country where the lobby was part museum-part hotel. The OF made it clear he was not staying at the hotel but he was just perusing the museum part.
The OF said there was a beautiful large pond and fountains in the back of the hotel and no one was there. The OF said he took one step outside and saw why. The walkways around the pond were purple with goose droppings; it was almost impossible to pick your way through the field of droppings to get to the venue in the back of the hotel.
Travel talk
As we have mentioned several times, many of the OFs are travelers. This time, the chit chat was about the Grand Canyon and how this scar on the Earth takes one’s breath away. Some said that it was one thing they would like to go back to and enjoy the wonder of these vistas from the scouring of the river below, which created all the colorful rock formations.
The OFs were not too enamored with the cities of Tucson, Mesa, or Phoenix, but Flagstaff was another story. For the temperature to get much over 80 degrees in Flagstaff is unusual; however, in the other three places, 100 degrees is a good starting point.
The OFs say that is too hot. But, as one put it, it is just like anyplace else. It may be possible to get used to weather conditions anywhere — some even like Alaska. Lots of people do like Arizona.
Those OFs who made it to the Chuck Wagon in Princetown, regardless of the weather, were: Dave Williams, Bill Bartholomew, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Marty Herzog, Pete Whitbeck, John Rossmann, Wayne Gaul, Ted Feurer, Jake Hundley, Harold Guest, Roger Shafer, Otis Lawyer, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Lou Schenck, Mace Porter, Gerry Irwin, Mike Willsey, Duane Wagonbaugh, Bob Lassome, Warren Willsey, Russ Pokorny, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.
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On Sept. 12, the Old Men of the Mountain met at the Duanesburg Diner in Duanesburg.
“We are finally having a decent stretch of weather,” some of the OMOTM said.
One OF commented, “Hey, we are at least entitled to two or three days of nice weather out of 365. After what happens in other parts of the world and even in our own country, I will take the two or three days.”
He continued, “Others can have their sunshine. The other places have too many hurricanes, tornados, tsunamis, mosquitoes, spiders, snakes, cockroaches, beetles, and ants. I will take the clouds and the occasional blizzard.”
Models morph
The following question came up in our next discussion: When did cars morph into just one car?
he OFs say when they look at one model 2017 vehicle, they have seen them all. The cars now all look alike, especially the SUV, midsize, and sedans.
Even the pickup trucks are similar, particularly viewing them from the side. Some OFs picked 1970 or 1980 when the morphing started. The OFs were separated by 10 years.
The discussion led this scribe to the internet, and, if acting like a judge, this scribe would have to pick the seventies. Roughly in that time period, anyone worth his salt could tell a DeSoto from a Cadillac, or a Plymouth from a Chevy even from two miles away.
Today, to tell whether a certain vehicle is a RAV 4 or a CRV, or any other SUV, it is necessary to be right by the vehicle to read the emblem.
Morning remedies
We stopped the car talk to catch our breath and change subjects. To hear the remedies the OFs have for cutting down the aches and pains of getting up in the morning, the OFs should write a collective book on their solutions.
To one OF, it was make his way to the bathroom and take a good hot shower. To another, it was sit on the edge of the bed and wiggle his toes, then his feet, then swing his legs, then the OF would try to bend his back four or five times.
To still another, it was grab his cane and take a short walk down the hall. Yet to another, it was say, “Oh d---, another day,” then inch his way to the kitchen and nurse a cup of coffee, hoping the aches would go away — but they don’t!
A few of the OFs say, “Get the pills down, especially the Aleve,” and only then are they ready to face the day.
The conclusion is — none of this stuff works! These old “friends” — aches and pains — may fade a little but the OFs still have them for the rest of the day. However, when they are at the Tuesday breakfast, there is something about opening the restaurant door, and entering the restaurant.
That makes the following hour or so pain free. The aches and pains are finally gone!
Irma aftermath
Just like anybody in the Northeast, the OFs have friends or relatives in Florida, or they themselves have second homes in Florida. This brought out many conversations of concern for those who were involved one way or another with Hurricane Irma.
This scribe did not get into all the conversations, but the gist is that the outcome is all over the map; from nothing to slight damage to — well, we will have to find another place to rent.
The OFs know that all this is preliminary and it will take weeks just to sort things out and find out what, where, and when things will really be known. Just like Irene.
One OF said some streets in Florida look just like Schoharie did after Irene. Another OF noted the OFs have been talking about hurricanes ever since Irene came into our area and that was late August 2011.
Six years ago and this event is still in the back of the minds of many in the valley. The OFs mused about how many years the people of Florida will be remembering this hurricane.
One OF added, “Only until the next one. No big whoop for those guys — they go through it all the time. We, on the other hand, might see something like Irene only every 100 years; now that makes it something to remember.”
This scribe does not know how the OFs knew this but the OFs said that they were under the impression that the owners of most shrimp boats stay with their boats. The boaters of the group said that is so they can control the lines as the water surges come and go.
The shrimpers are also used to rough seas, and most own their own boats. These guys are not going to abandon their means of making a living. So far, we have not heard of any of them losing their lives or boats yet.
One OF said he might watch a documentary (if one was made) on the people who do shrimp. How they live and handle adversity at sea and in hurricanes would be most interesting.
Those Old Men of the Mountain who made it to the Duanesburg Diner in Duanesburg and all made it in basically the same vehicle, except those who come by truck, were: Roger Chapman, Miner Stevens, Bill Lichliter, Robie Osterman, George Washburn, Richard Frank, Bill Bartholomew, Dave Williams, Bob Benac, Art Frament, John Rossmann, Harold Guest, Ted Feurer, Wayne Gaul, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, Otis Lawyer, Lou Schenck, Gerry Irwin, Mace Porter, Herb Bahrmann, Bob Benninger, Bob Fink, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.
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On Tuesday, Sept. 5, the school routine was already is in place in many institutions of learning.
The Old Men of the Mountain met at the Your Way Café in Schoharie and had their frequent-eater card stamped. Just like frequent miles, there are rewards at the Your Way Cafe for having a card and getting it stamped.
Enough stamps and the bearer of the card is entitled to a free breakfast. It is a good thing some of the OFs eat at the Your Way Café during the week; otherwise, if the group showed up with cards stamped sufficiently to receive a free breakfast at the same time, poor Darcy would go broke.
The OFs were fired up Tuesday morning on the “bait and switch” ads in the paper, even with coupons. This scribe did not realize so many of the OFs encountered this practice and what they did about it.
Two of the best tales were about a major chain that has been around a long time. It seems that one of the OFs saw a car battery advertised in the paper for a really good price and since he owned an old clunker, which he used mainly to run around and go to work with, he knew the old car was in need of a battery.
“Perfect,” he told himself. “The sale is tomorrow and I am going down early in the morning before work and get one.”
The OF showed up with the ad and asked the clerk for the battery on sale because there were none on the sales floor. The OF said the clerk asked him what kind of car he drove and the OF told him.
The clerk said that battery would not fit in his car so they couldn’t sell him one. The OF said he blew up because the clerk had no idea what the battery was being used for. The OF said he could be using the battery to operate running lights for crabbing on his boat; it was none of the clerk’s business what the battery was going to used for.
He then asked for the manager. The manager came and said he was sorry but that particular battery was all sold out.
The OF said he pointed out to the manager that he (the OF) was the first one in the store. He told the manager to look around — there was only the OF, the manager, and the clerk there.
Where is everyone who bought the battery? He didn’t see anyone leaving the store when he came in. The OF said he threatened to sue them individually and the store, and he was coming back with a cop.
The manager finally admitted there were no batteries, and sold him a better battery at the sale price. The customer has to stand his ground.
The next is the same store chain, and this OF says it was in an ad this store used off and on. The ad says the store has a tool chest full of tools for a ridiculously low price.
The OF says twice he tried to take advantage of this ad and both times was told the store were sold out. The next time he saw the ad, he went that evening to the store and saw quite a few of the boxes ready for sale on a table.
The sale was the next day and, just as the OF above (the OFs at that time lived hundreds of miles apart and this was not the same store, but the same chain so conversing with the other OF did not take place), this OF showed up first thing in the morning.
The table was empty and a clerk said he was sorry but they were sold out and offered a similar set at a higher price. This OF raised such a fuss, and insisted they were there and said that he checked it out the night before.
He, too, threatened legal action and they brought the advertised tool set out from the back and sold it to the OF for the advertised price. The OFs stand their ground.
One OF said he likes the way Walmart does it. Whatever the sale item is, it is where it is supposed to be and all wrapped up in plastic.
When it comes time for the sale, the wrapping is removed and the sharks come to the chum. The OF said he was in the right place at the right time, and had no intention of purchasing a TV but was right there when the Walmart employee was removing the wrapping off one of these sales.
The OF said he grabbed one and paid less for that TV than a cheap clock radio cost. The OF still has it and it works great.
The wife saw him later on in the store with the TV in his cart and she asked, “What the heck is this? We don’t need another TV.”
The OF told his wife the price and took her back to where the TVs were to show her, and they were all gone. The OF said that he was unintentionally one of the Piranhas that just happened to be the first in line.
The OFs say, when messing with seniors and saving a buck, be sure to have your ducks in line because you are messing with a formidable foe.
One OF mentioned that we can’t trust the weatherman, we can’t trust politicians, we can’t trust the news, and we can’t trust ads. He added anyone that pays full price for a mattress must be from another planet.
Another OF mentioned he thinks the real “bait and switch” going on now is the one being perpetrated by National Grid. In this OFs opinion, National Grid wants a 5-percent increase, so the company asks for 11 percent.
The people become furious and get up in arms, the legislators get behind them, and the Public Service Commission reduces the increase to 5 percent. The PSC says, “Look what we did for you.” The legislators say, “Look what we did for you.” National Grid says it listened to the populace and so it accepted the 5-percent rate increase.
The only win would be for a 0-percent increase but that would not help National Grid with its increase in operating expenses. “Lets see how this one plays out,” the OF said.
Those Old Men of the Mountain who met at the Your Way Café in Schoharie (and who can’t wait to get their hands on the next ad for something they need or want) were: George Washburn, Bill Lichliter, Roger Chapman, Miner Stevens, Robie Osterman, Harold Guest, John Rossmann, Richard Frank, Dave Williams, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, Pete Whitbeck, Roger Shafer, Bob Benac, Art Frament, Otis Lawyer, Duncan Bellinger, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Gerry Irwin, Wayne Gaul, Duane Wagonbaugh, Bob Lassome, Don Wood, Sonny Mercer, Bob Fink, Bob Benninger, Warren Willsey, Mike Willsey, Josh Hundley, Elwood Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, and me.
On these waning days of a continual spring (there was no real summer), it was Tuesday, Aug. 29, when the early contingent of the Old Men of the Mountain gathered on the sidewalk in front of the Country Café in Schoharie, waiting for it to open before the men piled in. On the sidewalk, the OFs began discussing many of the topics that would be carried into the Country Café.
A discussion that was typical of the OFs (in manner not in subject) was how some OGs were jawing at another OG about the type of cocoa he served them in his at-home workshop. The OFs were complaining when the OG was trying to get work done, even though the OFs who showed up there (just for someplace to go and visit), that his cocoa was weak and cheap. For goodness sake!
The cocoa was free, the entertainment was free, the parking was free, stools and rickety old chairs were free for the OFs’ use, and yet these visiting OFs have the audacity to complain.
These OGs complained so much that the fellow with the shop had to upgrade his cocoa brand. Through experimentation and the process of elimination, the OF now serves Swiss Miss to the visiting OFs, and these ingrates don’t even chip in.
The next thing you know, the OFs will be asking, “Where are the doughnuts”?
The OF with the shop says he really doesn’t mind too much; the OFs do on occasion bring in some business. They also offer free advice, lots of free advice, none of it right though, he added.
This common scenario of the OMOTM is a clue to the type of summer we in the Northeast have experienced. The OFs claim we never really exited the cocoa-doughnut phase of fall and winter, and now the OFs are right into what should be the cocoa-doughnut, pumpkin, apple pie phase of the year.
The OFs said they never really felt like having watermelon and soft ice-cream this summer.
Disasters everywhere
With all the problems that the southeast coast of Texas is having with Hurricane Harvey, Irene pops up her ugly head, flooding residents of our area with memories, and how close it was in the time of year for these two cataclysmic events. Irene was nasty but the OFs noted how many more people were affected by Harvey.
Although one OF mentioned that, if it happens to you, it is a disaster of one, so whether it is happening to seventy thousand, twenty thousand, or just a few hundred, it is still a disaster to those involved. What do you do when everything you have is swept away in a flood, or burned up in a forest fire, or buried under rubble in an earthquake
It is all mind-numbing for those going through it.
One OF said, “The west coast burns up, the South gets blown away, the center of the country gets sucked into the heavens, and the east coast becomes buried under snow.”
The OF said, “We can run but we can’t hide. Bad weather will find you, and if it is not the weather it is bugs, snakes, and alligators.”
Another OF added, “If it wasn’t for all that, there would be no challenges and life would be boring.”
And one more OF further stated, “Tell that to someone whose house has just burned to the ground.”
Pioneer’s perspective
That started another conversation on how the pioneers lived with no electricity, no air conditioners or refrigerators, and no means of expanded verbal conversation. News traveled only by word of mouth, or on the printed page.
One OF said at least the Indians were one up on us there — they had smoke signals.
It is hard for the younger group of OFs to envision this. The OFs that are 80 or beyond had to do a lot without the accepted conveniences of today and many of the OFs said, “We didn’t miss them because we didn’t have them.”
However, one OF said, “Things weren’t too bad because we had cars and trucks and even airplanes; we had radios, crystal sets, and we even had the telephone. It is our parents that got along quite well without the conveniences of the 1930s. Look at all the advancements they had in World War I.”
The OF added, “Why, when we were young. we even had Johnny Ray, and Elvis.”
The OFs had to agree (even though some were still farming with horses) that the modern conveniences were around. Why, we even had F.W. Woolworth's, Kresge’s, Wards, and Sears — what else did the OFs need?
The OFs who gathered at the Country Café on Main Street in Schoharie, with one whipping out his phone to order a part so the OF could repair his lawn tractor, were: Miner Stevens, Josh Buck, Bill Lichliter, George Washburn, Harold Guest, Robie Osterman, Roger Chapman, Glenn Patterson (who showed all of the OFs up by hiking to the restaurant, and then he had to hike home), Pete Whitbeck, Chuck Aelesio, Richard Frank, Bill Bartholomew, Dave Williams, Roger Shafer, Otis Lawyer, Jim Heiser, Mark Traver, Art Frament, Ray Kennedy, Bob Benac, Herb Sawotka, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Mace Porter, Gerry Irwin, Bob Lassome, Duane Wagonbaugh, Bob Benninger, Bob Fink, Rev. Jay Francis, Elwood Vanderbilt, Richard Vanderbilt, Harold Grippen, John Rossmann, Gerry Chartier, Mike Willsey, and me.