DELANSON — An outgoing woman who could light up a room, Sandra “Sandy” M. Flower, died peacefully at her Delanson home on Friday, Feb. 5, 2016. She was 60.

“She was a homemaker,” said her husband, Robert G. Flower. “Everybody loved her. She was very family oriented.”

Mrs. Flower was born on May 27, 1955 in Cooperstown, New York, daughter of the late Elba and Freida Graham Jones. “Sandy,” as she was called, was the middle sibling of 11 children. The family moved often as Elba Jones worked in construction.

Mrs. Flower met the man who would become her husband when they were in junior high school in Delanson. The high school sweethearts married when she was 16 and he was 17. Their marriage ended only with her death. The couple would have celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary on Aug. 7 this year; they wed in 1971.

They raised three sons. “She was an excellent wife and an excellent mother,” said Mr. Flower. “She was the kind of person that could walk into a room full of strangers and was friends with three-quarters of them by the time she left.”

What did Mr. Flower learn from his wife? “She trained me to stop being a slob, and she did it very well,” he said.

Mrs. Flower’s love of family embraced her extended family as well. Her niece Holly Busch wrote,  “My family has suffered a devastating loss with her passing.  She had a stroke about 10 years ago followed by breast cancer.  Each of these obstacles in itself would have brought anyone to their knees, but she fought like hell and made it through both of them.

“She was one of those people that we all thought would always be here. As our hearts are deeply saddened and our first instinct is to break down and cry; somehow we continue to smile each and every time we think about something she did or said. She left us all with amazing memories to cherish forever. In every picture, she has a smile on her face.  I like to say that she was not just a leaf on our family tree, but one of the seeds that started it and the roots that held it in place. 

“She and Uncle Bob were together from a very early age and had their children very young. There were many obstacles put in their way and they never gave up on each other or any of us. Their favorite song was ‘Magnet and Steel.’ I feel that was very appropriate for them because nothing could keep them apart. I will forever remember them dancing to that song.

“She loved to dance.  She taught all her sons, their wives and girlfriends and grandchildren how to dance.  When the Flowers hit the dance floor, you knew you were watching something incredible unfold.  She tried to teach me from a very early age. I just never picked up on it, but she never gave up on me.

“In August, we were at a wedding and she asked me and my cousin, Roxann, to dance with her.  I usually would just sit there, but for some reason I got up there and danced with her.  She was so cute because her stroke left her with very limited movement on her left side.  She could walk very slowly with the help of a cane. We got out on the dance floor and everyone around us was dancing up a storm.

“I was doing my usual horrible dancing routine, and she was standing there shuffling her feet one then the other and moving her right arm to the music. She looked at me with the biggest smile and shook her head like, ‘You are doing great, Hol.’

“She always thought I was doing great and encouraged me and all of the rest of her family to not be shy and to try something we were afraid of doing. I will forever be grateful that I had that last dance with her.

“She also loved cats and reading.  Every time one of her sons would move out of the house, she would get another cat so she wasn’t so lonely without her children. They always made her feel complete and happy. She would have tons of books all over the place because she would read one in a day.  She just soaked them right up and could not wait to read the next one.

“I know we will all miss her terribly, but we will also always remember her with a smile. We all have times when we are having the time of our life but the night has to end and we finally have to go home.  I do believe that she had the time of her life with our family, which was like a never-ending party. She finally got tired and had to go home! We love you, Aunt Sandy. Thank you for the dance!”

For many years, Mrs. Flower served as an attendant at the voting booths during local elections. “She met a lot of our neighbors that way,” said Mr. Flower. “She enjoyed talking to everyone.”

Mrs. Flower was a member of the Ladies’ Auxiliary of the Delanson Volunteer Fire Company. Mr. Flower served as fire chief. “I worked full time and then put in many more hours at the firehouse,” said Mr. Flower. “She supported me every minute of it. She never complained.”

As a member of the ladies’ auxiliary, Mrs. Flower helped with fundraisers and she and the other women would bring coffee and food to the scene of a fire to nourish the firefighters.

“She was a great cook,” said her husband; friends and family particularly appreciated her meatloaf, he said.

Mr. Flower also said, “She had a wonderful sense of humor. “When she walked into a room, she lit the whole room up. She’d start conversations with strangers. Anybody that knew her loved her.”

“She was an awesome wife and a wonderful mother,” he said. In her later years, she relished her role as a grandmother. “Grandbabies were the absolute most wonderful thing that could ever happen,” said Mr. Flower.

Her niece Mrs. Busch concluded, “Her family meant the world to her and she to us.”

****

Sandra M. Flower is survived by her beloved husband, Robert G. Flower; their children, Robert Flower and his wife, Vicki, of Altamont; Jeffrey Flower and his companion, Connie Rogers, of Colonie; and Michael Flower and his wife, JoAnn, of Knox. She also leaves behind six grandchildren and ten siblings.

Calling hours were held at the White VanBuren Funeral Home in Delanson on Tuesday, Feb. 9. Funeral services and interment will follow in the spring at a time to be announced.

Memorial contributions may be made to Sunnyview Rehabilitation Hospital, 1270 Belmont Ave, Schenectady, NY 12308 or to the American Breast Cancer Foundation, 10400 Little Patuxent Parkway, Suite 480, Columbia, MD 21044

— Melissa Hale-Spencer