COVID-19 ain’t no joke

Well, after two years of due diligence, I finally got COVID-19. If you’ve had it, believe me, I feel your pain. If you’ve managed to somehow avoid getting it, keep up the great work. Trust me, it truly sucks.

Here is what COVID-19 did to me, over the course of two very rough days:

— Intense headache requiring copious amounts of Tylenol;

— Legs that felt like they were made of lead;

— A shallowness in my chest when breathing; and

— Being freezing cold yet sweating profusely while trying to sleep.

Fortunately, after two days of this misery, I slowly got better. I think being in fairly good health overall was something I had going for me. I can easily see how, if someone is weak or frail, this kind of thing could be devastating for them.

If you ever needed a good reason to exercise, put COVID-19 defense right up there at the top of the list. I’m over age 50, which is the group who really had it rough with COVID-19. I think exercising six days a week helped me beat it.

If you want to be safe, and feel good in general, find some kind of exercise, anything that gets you moving, and then stick to it. You’ll never regret it, and it might just save your life.

So how did I finally get COVID-19 despite doing everything right — being triple vaccinated, not going anywhere, wearing a mask all the time — for over two years?

A couple of weeks ago, my wife had her 50th high school class reunion. She was on the planning committee, and this was a truly marvelous event that went on for five hours.

I lasted for two hours, but she stayed the whole time. This was on a Saturday. By the next Wednesday, my wife tested positive for COVID-19. That same night, I started to show symptoms. So there you go.

This reunion turned into a “super spreader” event. At last count, a dozen attendees have come down with COVID-19. What a bummer.

As I said, my wife was on the planning committee, and they really did a great job. They even took the time to remember classmates who are no longer with us. What a nice touch. It’s so sad that this insidious, invisible, horrible virus had to go and ruin it for so many of us.

And yet, getting COVID-19 myself isn’t the worst thing about the COVID-19 for me. The worst thing was, at the height of the pandemic, having to keep six feet away from my grandson. He was just a toddler then, and I played it off by making up games of tag and the like so we could just run around and around outside.

But he knew, young as he was back then, that something was wrong.

“Mom,” he’d say, “I want Grandma and Grandpa to come inside and play with me.”

That really sucked but, knock on wood, my daughter has kept her family COVID-19 free throughout all this. Good on her.

The Tuesday night after the Saturday-night reunion, my wife and I had dinner at a nice Italian restaurant with my brother, who was visiting all the way from Florida, and a dear old friend of mine. Somehow, my brother did not get COVID-19, but my friend did.

What makes it worse is she’s smack dab in the middle of a complete kitchen makeover. She now has to quarantine, so that project is on hold for at least 10 days. Can you imagine having to live with that upheaval for so long? I’m just sick that she apparently got COVID-19 from one of us. What a total drag.

It’s not all bad news, though. I’m lucky to have the kind of job that can be done mostly remotely, so I have not had to miss any time from work. I had been scheduled to get my second booster the very next week after the reunion, but now I’m going to wait three months.

Supposedly, if you survive COVID-19, your body makes its own antibodies so you are protected for a while. Let’s hope.

As I write this, I’m well past my 10-day quarantine, yet I’m still testing positive when I use a rapid test. According to my doctor, it’s possible to test positive for up to three months after you’ve had COVID-19.

According to rules from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, I’m now allowed to be out in public without a mask. Still, I’ll be masking until I get two negative tests in a row. That’s just the right thing to do.

Now let’s talk about vaccines. I consider them a miracle of modern science, and I can’t wait until I get my next booster.

Frankly, no pun intended, I have no ability to understand people who refuse to get vaccinated. I understand there is a tiny minority who have systemic health issues that may preclude them from getting any kind of vaccine, but the skeptics?

Come on. I wouldn’t wish what I had to go through for two miserable days on anybody; it was that bad.

The protection is there, just get it, for your family’s sake if not your own. Had I not been triple vaccinated, my outcome, bad as it was, could have been a lot worse.

It’s like that old joke that goes like this: A guy’s house starts to flood. Some folks come by in a big truck.

“Come with us!” they say.

“No thanks,” he answers. “The Lord will save me.”

Then the water gets higher. Some guys come by in a boat.

“Come on, we’ll save you!”

“No thanks, the Lord will save me.”

Finally the water is so high, the guy is on the peak of the roof. A helicopter lowers a rope.

“Grab onto the rope!”

“No thanks, the Lord will save me.”

Of course the guy drowns. When he gets to Heaven, he says to God, “Why didn’t you save me, Lord?”

God says “I sent a truck, a boat, and a helicopter; what more was I supposed to do?”

COVID-19 is no fun at all. Trust me on this. Do whatever you have to do to avoid getting it.