The days are getting longer, or at least are starting earlier. Driving west over Cotton Hill Road to Middleburgh on Tuesday morning was a pure joy. I saw the sunrise, I saw deer and turkeys and flowers and green grass and blue skies and of course, the Helderberg Mountains.
By the way, did you know the Helderberg Mountains are 417 million years old? The Rocky Mountains are only 55 to 80 million years old. Maybe we should change our name to the Old Men Of The Old Mountains!
Anyway, it was a good morning to be alive and I was looking forward to joining my OMOTM friends for breakfast at Mrs. K’s Kitchen.
I knew it was going to be a lively breakfast when two of the OFs changed their usual coffee order from decaf to regular, or was it the other way around? At any rate, Angela, who, like all of our favorite people who know how to take care of us as we travel from place to place, knows our names, what kind of coffee we order and what we usually order.
Take me for example; I always have an English muffin with breakfast. Therefore, she had to question them, “Do you really want your coffee that way?”
This placing of our respective breakfast orders moved smoothly into a discussion of how to cook oatmeal. You have to be careful; if left too long in the boiling water, it will boil over and create a mess that you really don’t clean up with one swipe of a paper towel!
One OF was telling a story of someone he knew who made his oatmeal in a cup and put it in the microwave for about four minutes, whereupon another OF exclaimed, “Wow, four minutes? That cup would be really hot! How did he pick the cup up?”
The OF telling the story reached out with his hand and demonstrated the technique by extending his forefinger and thumb and picked up his coffee cup and said “About like this.”
At this point, the table broke out laughing. It is somewhat humorous to read about that exchange, but I have to ask you visualize a couple of OFs sitting at a long table with a bunch of other OFs with their white hair, or no hair, hearing aids and flannel shirts, sort of listening in to this conversation, and then watching one OF extend his arm across the table to demonstrate how to pick up a coffee cup!
And if that visualization doesn't make you at least smile, then try to visualize Tim Conway explaining this to Harvey Korman on the Carol Burnett Show.
Old cars
We gracefully moved on from that moment to look at some pictures of an older (1950-ish) Hudson car, which prompted memories of some of the names of the models that Hudson used for its cars.
I didn’t catch or write down the names but I did hear some of the descriptions, such as, “That was the sedan,” or “That was their fast hot one.”
One of the OFs, who evidently has an older car or two, says he would tell those who he would take for a ride in one of his cars, “Bring a pair of good walking shoes and your cellphone.” I guess some of these cars would take you out, but may not bring you back.
Big fish and headless meters
Speaking of cellphone pictures, another OF proudly showed us some pictures of his grandson holding some really big fish he had caught and the OF was heard to say, “Now the student is telling the teacher how it is done!”
One last discussion involved the parking meters in front of Mrs. K’s. Two or three car lengths up the street is a pipe standing there with no meter on top.
That is where this OF likes to park so he can save the 25 cents. Of course another OF asked him if he dropped a quarter down the pipe anyway, quick as a flash the car-parking OF replied “Of course!”
Name game
OK. Time for the Final Paragraph. Going to be different this week. Remember how I sort of messed up a name on the attendance a few weeks ago? And the grief I took for it?
Well, here is your chance, fellow OFs. Can you match the first names with last names of this week’s OFs in attendance?
The attendance list consists of two columns side by side.
The column on the left is called “A.” It contains the first names of those OFs who were here at Mrs. K’s on Tuesday.
The column on the right is called “B.” It contains the last names.
Each row is numbered. Let’s say in column A, row 1 is the name John, and let’s say in column B, row 12, is the name Williams
Row 1: A1 + B12 = John Williams.
If you think that is the right first name (John) that goes with that last name (Williams) then your answer for this row #1 would be A1 + B12. The answer for row 2 might be A2 & B17, and so on. Match the first names from column A with the last names from column B. Don’t write the names, just match column A with column B.
(By the way, John Williams is not allowed to participate. He is too smart and knows everything. Doug Marshall is not allowed either. He is not stupid; he just has the answer key.)
Give me your written answers over the next couple of breakfast meetings, and I will put all the correct answers in a hat or something. The Scribe will draw the winner. There is a very desirable monetary prize for the winner.
Harold Whipple
Glenn Cross
Jake Norray
Dave Tozer
George Bahrmann
Ed Guiton
Jack Schenck
Wally Francis
Elwood Dab
Mary Donnelly
Dick Lichliter
Herb Vanderbilt
Bill Rack
Marty Shafer
Ken Hodgetts
Lou Gaul
Paul Goff
Bob Herzog
Joe Feurer
Roger Washburn
Roland Parks
Henry Herzog
Jake Guest
Ted Traver
Wayne Lederman
Gerry Guest
Pastor Jay Patterson
John Dexter
— Photo by Cynthia St. Jean
The Diamond Ring Effect: R. Douglas Marshall’s daughter took this photograph on April 8 at Sugarloaf Mountain in Maine’s Carrabassett Valley.
MIDDLEBURGH — We met the day after the April 8 eclipse. This clearly was the topic of the day at the Middleburgh Diner, with pictures being passed around from just about every OF present.
I showed off the iconic picture of a total eclipse that my daughter took from the Sugarloaf Ski Resort in Maine. She said it was a totally cloudless day with a blue sky, perfect for watching and taking pictures of the eclipse.
I will quote from her email to me that kind of sums up the whole experience. “When the totality was about to hit, there were shimmers on the snow, waves of light,” she wrote. “It was really cold when the sun was hidden, and a very surreal twilight time, with a 360 degree sunset on the horizon. Just the most amazing thing.”
One of the funniest comments of the morning came early on before many of the OFs had arrived and it was made by one OF expressing his concern for all the farmers having to run around putting the special eclipse glasses on all their cows!
Later I heard someone say, “The cows don’t care.”
Someone else didn’t think the sheep cared either. Very serious discussions these OMOTM engage in at times.
We all had the similar experience of good viewing early with very few clouds, and then, just as the big moment was arriving, so did the clouds! We here in the mountains, up and away from the Hudson and Mohawk river valleys, had some really good and clear views of the 97-percent total eclipse.
Kind of appropriate in a way, the clouds came just at the peak of the eclipse, thus making it seem darker than it might otherwise have been. Then the clouds sort of broke up and came and went while we enjoyed the moon exiting stage left.
We did get to see the eclipse at around 95 to 96 percent; I don’t suppose we could have really seen the difference between 95 percent and 97 percent anyhow.
Since we were pretty much all stay-at-home OFs, we did indulge in some head shaking when talking about the people who traveled hundreds of miles or more, getting married, or even getting in an airplane to get above the clouds, all to get a good view.
Then, after all that, there was the heavy traffic to deal with going home. Witness what my daughter and her husband did, driving from Manchester, New Hampshire to Sugarloaf Mountain in Maine; they just stayed a few nights in their Solis Pocket van in the Sugarloaf parking lot until traffic had passed. But that really is a great picture!
From handlebars to fishing poles
The conversations did turn back to the regular topics of springtime with which the OMOTM are much more comfortable, such as motorcycles and fishing boats and bird feeders.
As an example, one OF said he either has ordered or is thinking about ordering new handlebars for his cycle. The new handlebars would be somewhat taller and closer together than the regular stock ones that are on the bike now.
This prompted the question by a non-biker about how this would help or hinder the bike’s handling on corners.
I didn’t hear the answer because another OF was talking about putting grape jelly out with the bird feeders specifically for Baltimore orioles. He says they love it and he buys many jars of grape jelly each year.
So, by the time I got through listening to the grape jelly / Baltimore oriole discussion, the motorcycle-raised-handlebar question was answered and had moved on to fishing boats. Not just any old bass fishing boats mind you, but serious boats equipped with down riggers, trolling motors, full canvas so as to go fishing in inclement weather with a little heater for when it got cold and with at least a 150 horsepower engine.
This craft is probably somewhat bigger than the average bass boat or regular (whatever that would be) fishing boat found on Thompsons or Warners Lake. I have no idea how the conversation went from handlebars to fishing poles so fast.
Interpreting noise levels
Last week, an OF made two interesting comments, or at least they were interesting to me. The first comment was about how comparatively quiet it was at that particular moment.
“Must be everyone is eating,” he said.
The second comment was, of course, a little while later. He observed that it was pretty noisy, “Must be all done eating; it’s getting noisy in here. Must be about time I went home.”
I put that to the test this week; sure enough, the OMOTM breakfast can be divided into three segments: noisy, not nearly so noisy, and noisy. Just goes to show, there is always something to learn at an OMOTM Tuesday morning breakfast. You just gotta listen.
Don’t forget, here comes the Final Paragraph for this week and the Scribe and the Pinch Hitter have something planned for next week’s Final Paragraph. Here is a hint or two or three or four: It is painless, could be fun, might be hard, definitely different! Oh, one more hint, it can't be done at one breakfast, at least two, maybe three before it is over.
Those OFs who contribute so much of their wealth of mostly useless information who enjoyed their breakfast at the Middleburgh Diner were Harold Guest, Wally Guest, Miner Stevens, Ed Goff, Paul Whitbeck, Marty Herzog, Russ Pokorny, Jake Herzog, George Washburn, Wm Lichliter, Gerry Cross, Jack Norray, Herb Bahrmann, and me.
PRINCETOWN — This week, the OMOTM gathered at Chris's Chuck Wagon Diner in Princetown. We were treated to another fantastic sunrise which portends some lousy weather is on the way to us, but not before we enjoyed another fine breakfast with plenty of fresh hot coffee delivered to us almost before we sat down.
This feat is made flawlessly and routinely by Ron, who received a special proclamation praising his efforts that was read out loud in front of the entire group. Congratulations to Ron; he certainly deserves it. If we OMOTM don’t have our good, hot coffee before, during, and then after breakfast, we get grumpy, and, as I have told you before, you know what happens when the OFs get grumpy. It is not pretty.
Along with acknowledging the great service from Ron, we had a truly extra-special surprise to all of the OMOTM: John R. Williams, the Scribe himself, walked in and sat down in his regular spot and ordered breakfast after first receiving his hot cup of coffee from you know who!
I don’t want to over-do this, or be too dramatic, but it did take the Scribe some time to eat his breakfast while being welcomed back by a roomful of smiling and happy OFs, who were very glad to see him where he belongs on a Tuesday morning.
The Pinch Hitter, me, was among those welcoming the Scribe back. I handed him the list of OFs present and my notes of the meeting. I should say I tried to hand him these things, as he politely declined my attempts to retire back to the bench. Let me just tell the regular readers of this column a quick story concerning the Scribe that happened just today.
A regular customer at the Chuck Wagon, Richard R., happened to be eating breakfast there this morning. He took note of the group of OFs, 27 of us this morning, in the other room eating breakfast and having a good time.
He recognized us for, as he put it in an email to the editor of The Altamont Enterprise, “He had only read about The Legendary OMOTM!” and here they were! He even said he thought about asking for autographs! That would have been fun.
The point I am trying to make is this: The OMOTM are what they are because of two things, one, because The Altamont Enterprise has been printing this column for all these years and two, because the Scribe, John Williams, has been writing this column for all these years. If any one OF is legendary, it is you, Scribe, it is you.
Pipe-wrench magnet
One of the OFs had what looked like a bright red miniature pipe wrench (about the size of a large ballpoint pen) in his shirt pocket. I think it was probably a manufacturer’s advertising give-away. I think there was a thermometer located at the other end.
He took it out of his pocket and showed it around the table. Then another OF came by and sat down close by and promptly asked about the bright red miniature pipe wrench in his pocket. Our OF took the “pipe wrench” out of his shirt pocket and showed it to the newcomer and put it back in his pocket.
A few minutes later, you guessed it, yet another OF stopped by to ask a question to someone at the table and noticed the “red pipe wrench” in the shirt pocket and, of course, asked about it.
Again, the OF pulled it out and explained all about it and, as he was putting it back into his shirt pocket, he commented that he had no idea that his little red pipe wrench/thermometer advertising give-away gimmick would be the object of so much conversation.
I wonder if the manufacturer had as much success attracting attention with his advertising give-away as the OF got by having it in his pocket Tuesday morning.
Snowbird adventure
A couple of OFs are headed to Florida in the next couple of weeks for a taste of spring and some warm sunshine, as compared to what we are looking at around here for the next few days. This prompted questions about where exactly they were going in Florida — east coast, west coast, etc.
One OF said he used to drive his mother down to Sanibel Island, Florida right after Thanksgiving and then would drive her back in the spring. He bragged about never receiving a speeding ticket in the 10 years or so he made this trip — although he did admit he deserved a few.
He told the story about once, when he was driving through the mountains in Pennsylvania on a four-lane divided highway, he was passing a slower car that was in the passing lane, on the right as they were going around a curve right into a trooper with a radar gun.
The trooper looked up and saw two cars, side by side, one car had a nice young man driving his gray-haired mother in her little baby blue Cadillac in the right lane, and the other car was in the left lane.
The trooper knew somebody was speeding and assumed it had to be the guy in the left passing lane. The OF did slow down and told his mother that he just got caught speeding.
Sure enough, the trooper pulled out with his lights flashing, caught up with them and promptly pulled the slow-moving car that was in the left passing lane over! The OF could just imagine the conversation that occurred between the trooper and the man in the slow car!
All in all, it was another really great breakfast as we welcomed the Scribe back and acknowledged the fine contributions of Ron to our breakfast enjoyment. Tuesday's OFs included John Williams, Harold Guest, Wally Guest, Miner Stevens, Frank Fuss, Marty Herzog, Russ Pokorny, Roger Shafer, Roland Tozer, Jake Herzog, Pastor Jay Francis, John Dab, George Washburn, Wm Lichliter, Michael Kruzinski, Dave Hodgetts, Paul Guiton, Bob Donnelly, Glenn Patterson, Mark Traver, Joe Rack, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Gerry Cross, Henry Whipple, Herb Bahrman, and me.
DELANSON — By the end of March, most of OMOTM are ready for winter to be over and we are looking forward to the warm weather and sunshine. So when last weekend's rain / sleet / ice / snow storm arrived, it really didn't bother us too much that most of the storm with its 18 inches of snow went just a little north of us.
Sure, we had some power outages, and some ice, but most of us only had four to six inches of snow and brief power interruptions. It did, however, provide us with the excuse to run the gas out of the snowblower one last time before the end of the season.
A couple of OFs did have issues with their heating systems however. We have been around for a while and have, over the course of our lifetimes, dealt with our furnace issues ourselves.
For the most part, the systems are so dependable and trouble free that we sort of take them for granted. Until they stop working. Then we get cold. Then we turn up the thermostat with negative results. We get colder.
Knowing that we really do not know very much, if anything, about the heating system, we set out to fix it anyway. Just like we did 15 or 20 years ago. Is it working? No. Got power? Yes.
Oh, look, there is a little door thing. What is behind it? How do I open it? Oh, OK, the hinge is on the bottom, I guess I’ll pull down from the top. Good, it is open.
What do I see? A flashing blinking light; wonder what that means? Probably not good. Wait, what is that little red button over there next to the word “Reset?” OK, I'll press it. Flashing light stops, heating system starts running. This is a good thing.
The next two steps are critically important to the whole project. The first step is to close that little door, straighten up and tuck your shirt in.
The second step is to make sure it is still running; if it is, then stand straighter, shoulders back, chest out, walk confidently into the room with the fireplace and announce that it is all going to be OK, you have fixed the heating system and have saved the day. Again.
You are still the hero she married so long ago. All is good. Until the washing machine breaks. The OMOTM don’t even know where that is located, and what is that big thing next to it? Oh, the dryer.
When a steak dinner
cost a dollar
One of the OFs brought in a show-and-tell prop for the memory discussions. It was the menu from the late 1950s for Mike’s Log Cabin on North Swan Street in Albany.
Several OFs remembered Mike’s as a popular watering hole where they didn’t check too closely about your age. Back in those days, the drinking age was 18!
You had to be 18 years old to drive at night so they must have assumed that if you drove there, you were old enough to drink. Worked for us!
A bottle of Bud was 35 cents, Schaefer was 30. A steak dinner with French fries and a vegetable was $1.00. Shrimp cocktail was 65 cents and a hamburger was 25 cents. This started a lot of memories, as you can imagine.
Good old days?
One OF recalled a summer job he had at Thacher Park. He would get there early in the morning and his job was picking up stuff to make the pool area look good.
One morning, he came upon a couple who were engaged in some research involving what they had learned in Biology 101 — not Advanced Biology mind you, just freshman 101 Biology. The stuff you learn in summer jobs!
Somehow this led the conversation to early TVs. Small black-and-white screens packaged in great big cabinets with only three or four channels, if you could adjust the rabbit-ear antennas just right.
You actually had to get up and walk to the TV to change the channel and then adjust the antenna each time. We found out that aluminum foil worked pretty good to help the reception.
Those great big cabinets held a whole bunch of tubes, which took a while to warm up and, when one would go bad, you had to try to figure out which one it was and replace it. This was a trial-and-error method that required several trips to the TV store to test the tubes.
If you had a great big 21-inch TV, you were very popular. Of course, it took two men and a boy to carry or move one of those TVs!
Good old days? Not so much. Some things are better today. However, Biology 101 remains as popular as ever today. Why is that?
Well wishes
On a much more serious note, one of our more senior members, Mike Willsey, fell and broke his leg this past weekend. He had already had an operation to replace the ball in his hip (the socket did not need replacement) and Mike is recovering at St. Peter’s Hospital in Albany.
Warren tells me that his father will soon be terrorizing the nurses in the finest tradition of the Old Men Of the Mountain. We were sorry to hear of Mike’s fall and we all wish him the speediest of recoveries.
There is a rumor floating around that involves the attendance report. This rumor, which only the Scribe and the Pinch Hitter know about at present, will manifest itself in a few weeks and will involve all the OMOTM present at a particular breakfast. Maybe even those OFs not present.
At any rate, we had a nice turnout of OFs on March 26 at Gibby’s Diner in Delanson / Duanesburg, and they were; Harold Guest, Wally Guest, Ed Goff, Pastor Jay Francis, Marty Herzog, Warren Willsey, Russ Pokorny, Jake Lederman, Ed Feurer, Wayne Gaul, Frank Fuss, Miner Stevens, Jake Herzog, George Washburn, William Lichliter, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, Joe Rack, Ken Parkes, Lou Schenck, John Dab, Paul Guiton, Gerry Cross, Jack Norray, Bob Donnelly, Dave Hodgetts, Herb Bahrmann, Nick Smith, Michael Kruzinski, Henry Whipple, and me.
SCHOHARIE — On the first chilly day of spring, March 19, the OMOTM gathered together at the Your Way Café in Schoharie at the appointed hour for another hot breakfast. There was probably something in the spring air that caused many of the OFs to be talking about our newest member. Prior to this breakfast, no one knew anything about this guy, except me.
A look back at the history of this column is in order before explaining (or exposing ) this mysterious new member. As regular readers know, there is a certain order to each column, not the least of which is the Final Paragraph, which lists the OFs who were present at that particular breakfast.
This is part of the ironclad order of writing the OMOTM column. It has been in place since our First-String Scribe, John Williams, started writing the OMOTM column two million years ago.
When The Scribe started his current trials and tribulations with the aftermath of his experience with COVID and its additional issues, he missed a few breakfasts, so an attendance list was passed around for the OFs to sign in.
Then someone would send it along to The Scribe so he would have it for the Final Paragraph. Other OFs would send along notes of the breakfast to help The Scribe with the writing of the main column even though he wasn’t present.
Historically, The Scribe, while at breakfast, would write the attendance list himself, because, after two million years, he knows everybody! With the current pinch hitter? Not so much. He still absolutely relies on the list.
OK. Everybody with me so far? Here comes the problem, which caused the emails and subsequent conversations. The column was down to the Final Paragraph and all that was left to do was to enter the names from the attendance list and the OMOTM column would be complete.
I had entered the first name of an OF and looked at my list to be sure I spelled the last name correctly. It was, indeed, correctly spelled, except, by mistake, I had entered the last name of the next OF on the list. Of course I did not realize this and the Final Paragraph was cast.
I had written the first name of one OF, coupled with the last name of another OF. Well, let me tell you, the OMOTM let me know about it. Who knew there were so many proofreaders in the ranks of the OMOTM?
Several emails resulted, wanting to know who this guy was. So I told them. Not wanting to admit I may have made a mistake, I responded to each email and told them we had a new member.
I also went on the offensive by asking them why it was they didn't know about this new member. That didn’t fly. At all. Not even close.
So at Tuesday morning's breakfast, I had to try and explain why the new member was not there this week. I did try, but they weren’t buying what I was selling. Alas, I clearly am not as accomplished at spinning a tall tale as my fellow OFs.
So here I am, begging forgiveness for my lack of professionalism in writing the Final Paragraph regarding the attendance list. The pinch hitter has struck out. He is now back on the bench, possibly forever banned from writing the Final Paragraph again.
One OF suggested he get a “teacher's aid” to help with that paragraph. He does think it would be easier however, that the “new member” be summarily drummed out of the OMOTM and the two OFs be given full credit for being present for breakfast, not the half credit I gave them.
We could just put this behind us and concentrate on our bacon and eggs. Or we could vote on it along with the teacher's aid idea, except for two things: one, I am afraid of the result, and two, the members of the OMOTM never vote on anything! Except in a vague way about where to have breakfast. (We don't really “vote” on that either. We just get grumpy and don’t show up.)
Stay tuned and check back next week to find out what happens to me in the continuing saga of the “The Final Paragraph.”
Chill bikers
There were some serious conversations however, such as about heaters on motorcycles when it is cold and some ideas about why they don’t work well. Wind chill comes to mind. Maybe an enclosed heated side car might work for the passenger.
I was waiting for someone to ask about the general lack of windshield wipers on motorcycles; the question was never asked.
Hearing-aid demo
In addition, we had a live demonstration of the latest concept in hearing aids. It looked a lot like an old pair of earmuffs but with large, 3-inch diameter, seashells facing forward in place of the muffs.
I have a picture of this latest hearing aid but I felt that since I was on rather shaky ground already (see above), and the fact that The Altamont Enterprise is a serious newspaper, I decided not to let them anywhere near that photo.
Now, if the paper had a comic section — nah. Since 1884 there has never been a comic section; now is not the time to start.
Last ’graph
And now — wait for it — THE FINAL PARAGRAPH!
Those OFs (and only those OFs who all know each other) who enjoyed breakfast and the spring air with something in it were: Harold Guest, Wally Guest, Frank Fuss, Ed Goff, Joe Rack, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, Russ Pokorny, Warren Willsey, Roger Shafer, Pastor Jay T. Francis, William Lichliter, George Washburn, Jake Herzog, Bob Donnelly, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Gerry Cross, Herb Bahrmann, Paul Guiton, and me.
MIDDLEBURGH — The OMOTM were welcomed this week at Mrs. K’s Kitchen in Middleburgh, on a bright, sunny Tuesday morning with the temperature forecasted to climb into the mid-50s. With the temperature scheduled to reach into the mid-60s the next two days it is hard not to be thinking of springtime.
What a week last week was for a couple of OFs. One of these OFs was me. We got hacked! Separately, not connected to each other.
I know this is something that many of you reading this column are, unfortunately, probably too familiar with. It all started with my computer freezing up with a note on the monitor telling me how to get it fixed.
It was not a ransomware type of thing, but close. They did not want money to fix my problem, but I could not do anything without first calling the phone number of the “Good Guys” who would solve my computer problem.
So I did. Soon, I was able to move around normally on my computer.
Then they reported that my bank accounts had been hacked and a significant amount of my money was gone, to Mexico! They had a convoluted story of how they could get my money back that involved me going to the bank to withdraw cash.
I was not to talk to anyone because the Bad Guys were probably in the bank. At this point, none of this was making any sense. They never should have let me think for the 20-minute drive to the bank.
I absolutely would never withdraw cash from the bank. Never. One thing about the OMOTM, we have all been around the block once or twice and we do know the difference between fact and fiction. After all, we invented the tall tale!
The bank quickly checked my accounts with their computers and all was well. The bank also checked with their fraud department and there was no activity.
This whole thing was just a scam to get me to withdraw my cash: They never got into my accounts. I did change my bank password then and there. The bank personnel stayed with me well after closing while we did all this.
I will never know what the final part of the scam would have been when I left the bank with the money. I went home and called my own computer people to come, get my computer, and clean it up. I then made myself a stiff drink.
The good news is, my computer now runs better than it has in years, I didn't lose any money, and it is a bright sunny day. The other OF also escaped with no harm. The OMOTM may be senior citizens, but we are not stupid.
Dancing class
The OMOTM do specialize in memories however, and March 12 was no exception. One of the memories had to do with dancing class. Some of us actually went to dancing class.
First off, for those of you who don’t know a dancing class from third base at Yankee Stadium, let me explain the fundamentals. There is a big room, big, like half of a basketball court. Lined up along one wall there are a whole bunch of folding chairs. Across the room, lined up against that wall, are another bunch of folding chairs.
The boys, all dressed up in our Sunday best, with a coat and tie and white gloves and scruffy shoes, were sitting along one wall. The girls, also all dressed up in their Sunday-best dresses and Mary Jane shoes and hair just so, sat along the other wall across the room. They had little white gloves too.
As we all waited for the class to start, both sides would be busy counting the line of boys or girls on the other side to see who they would be dancing with. There would be some changing of seats occurring on both walls as seat number 10 on one side wanted to dance with seat number seven on the other side. Do not let the other side see you looking or counting! You gotta be cool.
Then it was time to learn the foxtrot, or waltz. Left hand goes here; right hand goes there. No, no, not so close! Small steps. Try not to step on her toes. Why can’t they play some rock and roll?
Change partners? After I did all that counting chairs and moving around and changing so I could dance with that cute number 10 chair? But you know, number 11 chair was pretty cute too.
By the end of all the lessons, we were pretty good and there was a special dance where we got to ask the number 10 or number 11 chair if they would be our dancing partner that night.
We would shine our shoes and buy a corsage and desperately try to remember: left foot forward, slide to the right, right hand on her waist, left hand not too high, not too close, don’t dance too close! Don’t repeat the steps out loud, 1-2-3, 1-2-3. Do not step on her toes.
Even now, at our advanced ages, the OMOTM will acknowledge as the absolute truth, the fact that the girls were sooooo much better at this dancing stuff than we were. Never forget that Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did, except she did it backwards — while in heels!
The OMOTM who gathered together this fine morning to tell tall tales about their ballroom dancing skills were; Harold Guest, Wally Guest, Ed Goff, Mark Traver, Joe Rack, Roger Shafer, Frank Fuss, Roland Tozer, Ken Parks, Ted Feurer, Jake Lederman, Wyne Gaul, Russ Pokorny, Warren Willsey, Bill Lichliter, Jake Herzog, George Washburn, Paster Jay Francis, Herb Bahrmann, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Dick Dexter, Gerry Cross, John Dab, Paul Guiton, Elwood Donnely Dave Hodgetts, and me.
MIDDLEBURGH — On March 5 at the Middleburgh Diner, the OMOTM were treated to big brand new colorful coffee cups as we sat down to another fine breakfast made even better by drinking good hot coffee from the new coffee cups.
There is just something about eating a good hot breakfast from the local diners and cafés and kitchens that have been part of the fabric of the Hilltowns that among them have been doing this for over 300 years. I mean, all these people really, really know how to fry an egg and brew some great coffee!
Of course, the warm weather was a topic of much conversation. It was agreed that Tuesday’s all-day rain was far more agreeable than an all-day nor’easter!
At least one OF has made his appointment to have his summer tires put back on next week. He says, if it snows a bunch, he will just stay indoors, build a fire, read a good book, and wait for Mother Nature to melt the snow with 50- to 60-degree days. Seeing the buds on the lilac bushes in his front yard makes it seem more like this is an April-shower type day than a March dodge-the-snow-storm type day.
Scribe update
We heard some more good news this morning regarding our First Team Scribe. He is feeling much better and it won’t be long before he walks through the front door of one of our favorite Tuesday morning eateries and orders his usual oatmeal breakfast.
The diner or café or kitchen will not even have to take his order; they will just bring it out to him and we will all smile as we get back to normal. His better half, who has been taking care of him all this time, has decided that enough was enough and for the past few weeks it has been our Scribe’s turn to look after his better half.
It is amazing how a married couple who have been around the block a couple of times, somehow seem to always share life’s ups and downs together. Always together. They have had the love and the help of their children during this stressful time and that is the very best medicine you can have.
Old home place
There was a discussion of “downsizing” as to the size of where we live as we OFs grow a little longer in the tooth. Some of us shut down parts of our bigger homes, like a bedroom or two upstairs as we move ourselves downstairs.
We convert that “other” room down the hall into an office or sewing room or reading room or use the closet for our seasonal coats, but when it is time for traditional family get togethers like the holidays, birthdays, graduations and anniversaries, that’s when the big old house comes to life again in the way a condo, apartment, or some smaller place just is unable to do.
The old place has the advantage of all those great memories of past celebrations, or the feel of that special chair or sofa or just sitting around the kitchen table talking or maybe playing cards that the new “downsizing” place can never match.
There is no warmth in the new place, but the big old place is nothing but warmth and memories. So we fight, we resist, we put off for as long as we possibly can, the inevitable — “downsizing.”
Boarding houses
While traveling down the roads of memories the term “boarding houses” cropped up. One OF asked the question, “Does anyone even remember boarding houses?”
He stayed in them for a while in college. And then later, when he was out of town on a job and needed a place to stay until his work was completed, he would find a boarding house.
When asked how he found out about where a boarding house was, his answer was he would go to a local diner (and you thought they only fried eggs!) or tavern or pub and ask the question. There was always someone who knew of a lady who had some extra rooms who would take in boarders to help make ends meet.
Some of these places would also serve one meal, usually dinner, and they were always less expensive than a hotel by far. Sometimes he would get lucky and the boarding house would have a TV. That was a fancy one!
Timeshares
Somehow that conversation morphed into timeshares and the subsequent pitfalls that sometimes followed that experience.
Some stories of near misses and of making use of the law that deals with “Buyer’s Regret” where, in the cold light of the next morning, after you have said to yourself, “Why on earth did I do that?” you can void the whole thing and escape with a whole skin, or bank account.
On the other hand, another OF said that he thoroughly enjoyed his sister'’ timeshare in Hawaii!
Waiting to win
Finally, one of those memory roads led one OF to recall a local radio station, WGY, that ran a promotional contest in which people were encouraged look at their one dollar bills to see if they could find a sequence of numbers in the serial number that matched the radio station’s broadcast frequency of “107.”
If you found a one-dollar bill that contained the “107” sequence, you would win a prize. The OF never won, but he sure had a bunch of one-dollar bills!
The OMOTM who were traveling down these memory roads at the Middleburgh Diner (including one who, to this day, still pays for his breakfast with one-dollar bills) were Harold Guest, Wally Guest, Miner Stevens, Roland Tozer, Frank Fuss, Jake Herzog, Pastor Jay Francis, Bill Lichliter, George Washburn, Herb Bahrmann, Lou Schenck, Gerry Cross, Jack Norray, Dick Dexter, and me.
— Photo from R. Douglas Marshall
This is the 1925 Model T Ford Roadster that an OF used to take his Valentine for a ride on Feb. 14.
DELANSON — The OMOTM arrived on time at Gibby’s Diner ready for some hot coffee and a hot breakfast on this chilly, 8-degree, Tuesday morning. This group of OMOTM are always ready for some hot coffee and a good hot breakfast on any chilly morning.
Last week, on Wednesday, on Feb. 14, the OMOTM, like everyone, celebrated Valentine’s Day with some OFs giving red roses, other OFs giving some chocolates in a red heart-shaped box; certainly Valentine’s Day cards were given and received all prior to sitting down to a special dinner (or feast in the old days).
There are many, many different paths as to the origins of Valentine’s Day going far back in time — as long ago as the year 269, when a Catholic priest, whose name was Valentine, was put to death for religious reasons.
He is given credit for performing a miracle of giving sight to a blind girl. Before his untimely demise, he sent the little girl a note, which he signed “Your Valentine.”
A couple of themes are fairly common throughout the different origin paths of today’s Valentine’s Day observance. It has always been observed on Feb. 14. It usually has a feast or special meal connected to it.
It also has a strong religious background. The priest, Valentine, is now a saint. The idea of love and romance quickly and universally became central to the day.
Many Valentine’s Day poems that have been written, some as early as Edmund Spenser’s “The Faerie Queene” written in 1590, have lines that sound familiar to us.
She bath’d with roses red, and violets blew
and all the sweetest flowers that in the forest grew ….
Shakespeare gets into the act in the year 1600 with his play, “Hamlet” in which he has Ophelia mentioning Valentine’s Day, and possibly the genesis of today’s modern poem may be found in a collection of English nursery rhymes from 1784.
The rose is red, the violet’s blue,
The honey’s sweet, and so are you.
Thou art my love and I am thine;
I drew thee to my Valentine.
The lot was cast and then I drew,
A fortune said it shou’d be you.
The OMOTM may not be Spenser or Shakespeare, but how could a fair maiden resist when asked to be an OF’s Valentine and go for a ride in a 1925 Model T Ford Roadster built for two?
It didn’t matter that they had been married since that car’s factory warranty was still in place (just kidding). Of course, she accepted. It also helps that they were in Florida on Feb. 14, 2024.
Up here in the Hilltowns, there are many examples of the spirit of Saint Valentine that are front and center every day of the year. One of these places is the Rock Road Chapel, the pastor of which is a member of the OMOTM.
If you happen to be in his neighborhood on a Wednesday morning, stop by for breakfast. One year when Valentine’s Day fell on Wednesday, a person who had breakfast at the Rock Road Chapel was moved to write a little poem of heartfelt appreciation, which now occupies a special spot on the wall in the kitchen.
It is out of view of everybody except for those working to prepare the food for the folks who may stop by for breakfast. Again, this was not written by a world famous poet; it was written in appreciation and with a little love thrown in, to the ladies working out of sight, behind the scenes, in the kitchen of the Rock Road Chapel. It reads like this:
To the Sisters of the Spatula
The Lord looks down from up above
Upon this food prepared with love
For the hungry folks who are just itchin’
For the savory delights from the Rock Road kitchen.
From succulent sausage to perfect pancakes
The girls in the kitchen have got what it takes
And there’s perfect cooked eggs, real syrup, and butter
That kind of good food gets our taste buds aflutter.
So this Valentine’s Day, to show that we care
We offer this poem, at which you can stare
As we fervently hope you’ll consider it handy
As a good substitute for flowers and candy.
So, from the Old Men of the Mountain, we extend our very best wishes to all the young lovers out there, and especially the old lovers up here in the mountains — do yourself, and all of us, a favor and hug someone today.
Next week, the OMOTM shall meet at the Chuck Wagon Diner in Duanesburg. This week, the following met at Gibby’s Diner for good food and fellowship: Harold Guest, Wally Guest, Ted Feurer, Wayne Gaul, Russ Pokorny, Warren Willsey, Joe Rack, Mark Traver, Glenn Patterson, Roger Shafer, George Washburn, Jake Herzog, William Lichliter, Marty Herzog, Ed Goff, Frank Fuss, Miner Stevens, Paul Guiton, John Dab, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Gerry Cross, Herb Bahrmann, Bob Donnelly, Elwood Vanderbilt, Michael Kruzinsk, Rev Jay Francis and me.
SCHOHARIE — The snow storm that wasn’t. There are times when the OMOTM are really glad that they are who they are and not those trying to predict what track Mother Nature will take with a particular snow storm.
We expect these meteorologists to tell us how many inches of snow we will get down in the valley, compared to up here in the mountains and Hilltowns. We expect them to tell us when the storm will start and when it will end, and to do all of this days in advance and to do it with 100-percent accuracy. No mistakes, no changing the forecast. Good luck with that.
Then we get this system. From the get-go, this was a problem. Will the storm track take the storm far enough south of us with the result being little or no snow? Will it track a little farther north resulting in a few inches of snow, to as much as a foot or more?
Every day, it seemed like the track would move north, then move back south. Add to all this, there are several different weather-expert agencies from all over the place each predicting their own version of what is going to happen when.
The OMOTM don’t have to try to predict the weather; we just have to remember where to show up for breakfast on Tuesdays. This Tuesday it was the Your Way Café in Schoharie. Next week, it will be Gibby’s.
A nice group of us traveled to breakfast over clear and dry roads with smiles on our faces and more than a little amount of relief that there was not a flake of snow to be found anywhere!
The lack of snow and cold this winter did initiate a discussion of how seasonal businesses cope with this season’s unusual weather. If the weather is too warm, there is no ice on the lakes, no snow on the mountain, so those folks who bought a new plow for their pickup truck so they can plow driveways and parking lots are just sitting idle. But they still have to pay the bill for the plow.
Then there are all the companies who stocked up on their winter inventories of products for work or play. Products ranging from a simple snow shovel or ice skates, to snowshoes and skis all the way to big-ticket items like snow blowers and snowmobiles.
All of this is not limited to wintertime. How about the farmers? A great many OMOTM are more than a little knowledgeable about this topic.
We talked about the service industry, those who earn a living fixing stuff like boat engines or lawn mowers or air-conditioners. We even mentioned all the seasonal workers such as the resort personnel who work at the ski resort restaurants and on and on.
Old cats
Such serious talk was thankfully replaced by much more interesting and light-hearted topics such as the advanced age some cats reach. Stories of cats who “adopted” a particular garage but you couldn't get near them, feral cats, I believe.
They would leave food for them, which they ate, but they could never get them to come inside their house. In fact, they really rarely ever saw them.
A couple of OFs told of their cats reaching well into their 20s. Those were the domestic cats, not the feral cats. Feral cats don’t live very long.
A tale of two mailboxes
One OF related the saga of his driveway(s) and mailboxes. Seems this OF has a large lot with several hundred feet of frontage.
At one end of the lot he has a small shop building and at the other end of the property, he built his house. He has a long driveway to his house at one end of his lot, as it is set back from the road quite a ways, and a short driveway ( two or three car lengths) to the shop building, which is located close to the road at the other end.
He was informed in short order that there can only be one driveway per lot. But he needed both.
So as the driveway issues were being worked out, the post office decided that the one mailbox, which was in place for a decade or so, was in a dangerous location for the postal-delivery person and would have to be moved to a safer location.
So the OF moved the mailbox and all was well for another decade.
Then the post office said that the house was one address and the shop was a different address and mail for one address could not be put into a mailbox of another address. OK, so the OF put up another mailbox — and the story of great postal service and a happy OF postal customer has continued unchecked for another decade.
All is well for the moment; just don’t breathe.
Have I mentioned that there was another learning curve of information regarding culverts and driveways? No? Another story for another time in the life and times of the OMOTM.
Those OMOTM who gathered at the Your Way Café without a snowflake in sight were: Harold Guest, Wally Quest, Roger Shafer, Joe Rack, MarkTraver, Glenn Ptterson, Warren Willsey, Russ Pokorny, Elwood Vanderbilt, Bob Donnely, Miner Stevens, Bill Lichliter, Frank Fuss, Marty Herzog, Ed Goff, Rick LaGrange, Jake Herzog, Lou Schenck, Jack Norray, Gerry Cross, John Dabs, Paul Guiton, and me.
MIDDLEBURGH — Sunshine! Finally, we see the sun and blue skies but we felt the February chill of winter as the OMOTM woke up to temperatures in the mid-teens. Besides that, it is still dark at 5:30 a.m. and there is still plenty of white stuff around with more to surely arrive before winter releases us from its grip as this is only the beginning of February.
We journeyed to Mrs K’s Kitchen this week. Next week, we will meet at the Your Way Café in Schoharie followed by Gibby’s Diner before finishing up our northerly trek at the Chuck Wagon.
During last week’s breakfast there was a comment, or maybe two, that the size of the print in the email that was sent to all of the OFs was kind of small and maybe it should be a little larger which would make it easier to read. So this week, the email font size was increased — substantially.
Now the comments were not about the size of the words, but rather the amount of paper it took to print out a copy of the column so they could save it and add it to the ever-growing pile of saved OMOTM columns.
This led to a general discussion of saving stuff like this column, and the National Geographic magazine or Playboy (for the articles) for years.
Other OFs agreed with stories of family reunions, and saving the lists of relatives and getting copies of photographs of the current and past relatives that usually wind up in a drawer at best, or a box at worst, to be brought out when next we meet.
That led to the popular topic of researching our own ancestry, using one of several methods currently available on the web, like Ancestry.com that some of the OMOTM are using.
Competitive
bird-watching
Many of the OFs have bird feeders in the winter, which give us enjoyment as we watch all the different species of birds. Several OFs would write down the different kinds of birds that we could identify.
It is a substantial list by the end of winter and spring arrives. Because some OMOTM are somewhat competitive, they would notice that their friends and neighbors might have more birds at their feeders than they had, which would prompt another trip to the local feed store to buy the latest and greatest in seeds and feeders.
One thing that one OF enjoyed doing was to put their Christmas tree out on the deck after the holidays, and throw a bunch of different kinds of seed in it. The birds loved it.
His back deck was up one story because he had a walk-out basement, which he thought attracted more birds. When a hawk or other predator bird was in the area, he always knew it because all the little birds would suddenly disappear into the Christmas tree and be very still until the danger had passed.
He also put out water in a heated tray, which might have attracted more birds than the food. It certainly attracted the squirrels.
One year, he had a wild female turkey fly in to eat and drink, then she would glide down to the ground to eat the seeds that fell from the feeders. She hung around for a couple of weeks.
There were some large shrubs and pine trees in his yard that the birds would stay in at night and when the predators were around. His family called those bushes “the Dormitories.”
There would be dozens of birds of many species in those co-ed dorms at any given time, especially after a snow storm when there would be only two or three entrances. He said it was fun watching the constant comings and goings of the different birds from those limited number of openings. It was a safe haven for them, and they sure knew it.
Sometimes there is competition for the bird food, such as squirrels, raccoons, big birds versus little birds — and just before, and right after, hibernation, the occasional bear. How to deal with those issues is a story left for a future column.
Staying strong
Exercise was a topic at the table. These OMOTM were not particularly concerned with losing weight, but more along the lines of losing our balance.
The OFs really don’t like falling down. It can hurt, and it is embarrassing.
It has been pretty well established that the proper exercise can help this situation a lot. And guess what, there is a whole industry devoted to helping us accomplish becoming much less susceptible to falling due to lack of balance.
It’s OK to slip on a banana peel; just don't fall because we lose our balance for the hell of it.
From long ago, do you remember the little tests the “Officer” might ask us to perform, like balancing on one foot, or walking in a straight line? Some of us had trouble with that when we were young and stone-cold sober, and now that we are “senior citizens” — anyway, exercise just may be a really good thing.
The clumsy, unbalanced OMOTM who enjoyed good conversation and great food on Tuesday morning were: Wally Guest, Harold Guest, Ed Goff, Rick LaGrange, Mark Traver, Glen Patterson, Joe Rack, Wayne Gaul, Jake Lederman, Ted Feurer, Warren Willsey, Russ Pokorny, Roland Tozer, George Washburn, Michael Kruzinski, Bill Lichliter, Jake Herzog, Marty Herzog, Herb Bahrmann, Lou Schenck, Dick Dexter, Jack Norray, Gerry Cross, Bob Donnelly, Dave Hodgetts, Elwood Vanderbilt, Paul Guiton, John Dab, and me.