The time for talk is over. If they don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all

To the Editor:

The article about the bullying and attempted suicide of a 12-year-old girl at Berne-Knox-Westewrlo moved me to tears. As the mother of a 13-year-old, I know some of what is going on in all of our schools; I am appalled but, like so many other parents, don’t know what to do.

I talk to my daughter, who after a while will tell me some of what other kids are saying and doing. She also came to me twice when, on social media, some friends said they wanted to commit suicide. I called the parents, who had no idea what was going on.

I honestly think these kids, especially middle-schoolers, do not think what they are doing is bullying.  The perception of bullying is the big mean kid on the playground pushing kids off the swings — the reality is it is a lonely or angry kid on social media telling a total stranger their haircut looks weird.

I think we, as parents, must take the time and effort to talk to our kids, every single one of them, and get this information out of them, as hard as it may be. The anti-bullying legislation, school programs, and community not-for-profits can all help, but a 12- or 13-year-old doesn’t care about the Dignity for All Students Act or any others.

And, if the predominant places for school bullying are buses and cafeterias, I would personally donate to hire more monitors to prevent even one attempt at suicide. In fact, I would volunteer to cover a day of cafeteria time!

The time for talk is over. From home, talk to your kids, really talk to them. Ask them if they don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all!  Monitor social media. In school, cover those opportune times with staff or volunteers, educate the kids on the subtle ways they bully.

Go proactive and organize niceness days, events, and awards; get parents to help! Stop waiting for someone else, and take action now, as soon as your child comes home.

Katherine Burbank

Guilderland

 

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